EL: Club Bruges vs. United

EL: Club Bruges vs. United

Words lol fuck that tin pot Europe nonces

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

(@Benglorious) I must say I did enjoy the footage of our brave boys playing ping pong with a football in the sun. Really going to help them claw their way back into the champions league spots. Prediction: Martial with a brace using the penhold grip and a ton of topspin. 0-0 United M  (@tom_mcghee) During […]

EFLC: City (3) 0 - 1 (2) United

EFLC: City (3) 0 – 1 (2) United

They say that sometimes when you win you actually lose, and that when you lose you sometimes actually win, and that when you win, you actually win, and the same goes for losing. I wish they’d make up their minds. I need a bag of aspirin. Here’s 5 things we learned on the night we […]

(FAC): Tranmere 0 - 6 United

(FAC): Tranmere 0 – 6 United

Serious question: do Harry Maguire goals even count if they are not thumping headers? i.e. is the score really 0 – 5? Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We seem a lot better when our opponents are a league or 4 below us – maybe something to look at in the future? 2. 6 goals, […]

Arsenal vs. United

Arsenal vs. United

(@Benglorious)   Prediction: See below M  (@tom_mcghee)   Prediction: See below  M (@bifurcated_utd) Prediction: Abject misery.

City 1 - 2 United

City 1 – 2 United

And … it’s still not clear whether we are bad at being good, or just really bad at being good: Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Bahahahahaha fuck off city 2. see 1 3. I too enjoyed the seasonal spanking 4. And the football 5. Bit of blue or the dads there

United vs. Jose

United vs. Jose

Who is this jose mourinho character anyway guess we’ll never know !! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I loved the probability bar, opens up a whole new dimension on ‘are we winning or not I can’t tell’ 2. I also loved Marcus Ashford who I named Goal Lord 3. Greenwood? More like GreenGood !! Doesn’t really […]

Bournemouth 1 - 0 United

Bournemouth 1 – 0 United

Are we good or bad? guess we’ll never know. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We really are fucking shit 2. Ole started his United managerial career on a wing and a prayer but now his wings are on fire and his prayers have been answered. By Satan. 3. I enjoyed the bits I didn’t […]

United 1 - 1 Liverpool

United 1 – 1 Liverpool

Probably got slaughtered so didn’t watch it. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. The Joker’s real name is Arthur for some reason 2. I learned nothing  

Southampton 1 - 1 United

Southampton 1 – 1 United

Wise men will look at United’s indifferent start to the campaign and say “a season is a marathon, not a sprint”. Idiots. That’s athletics.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Ole said we can’t control results or outcomes. Someone should explain to him what the manager’s job is imho. 2. Was hoping Paul Pogba […]

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review

Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno: It doesn’t matter what shape the wheel is, it matters who’s at said wheel and […]

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...