Ole

United vs. Jose

United vs. Jose

Who is this jose mourinho character anyway guess we’ll never know !! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I loved the probability bar, opens up a whole new dimension on ‘are we winning or not I can’t tell’ 2. I also loved Marcus Ashford who I named Goal Lord 3. Greenwood? More like GreenGood !! Doesn’t really […]

Bournemouth 1 - 0 United

Bournemouth 1 – 0 United

Are we good or bad? guess we’ll never know. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We really are fucking shit 2. Ole started his United managerial career on a wing and a prayer but now his wings are on fire and his prayers have been answered. By Satan. 3. I enjoyed the bits I didn’t […]

United 1 - 1 Liverpool

United 1 – 1 Liverpool

Probably got slaughtered so didn’t watch it. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. The Joker’s real name is Arthur for some reason 2. I learned nothing  

Southampton 1 - 1 United

Southampton 1 – 1 United

Wise men will look at United’s indifferent start to the campaign and say “a season is a marathon, not a sprint”. Idiots. That’s athletics.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Ole said we can’t control results or outcomes. Someone should explain to him what the manager’s job is imho. 2. Was hoping Paul Pogba […]

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review

Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno: It doesn’t matter what shape the wheel is, it matters who’s at said wheel and […]

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]

United vs. City

United vs. City

(@Benglorious) Sussed. Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s. M  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter. Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children. Also Abso glols at Ed trying […]

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) - (0) 0 United

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit […]

United 2 - 1 West Ham

United 2 – 1 West Ham

A return to winning ways after an apocalyptic run of losings stretching back further than any of us can remember, might just save Ole’s job.   For now.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Good to see us win in the style of Manchester United of old 2. I didn’t watch it 3. I […]

CL: United 0 - 1 Barcelona

CL: United 0 – 1 Barcelona

With the treble very much still on, Ole’s clearly briefed the team to save all the goals for when it really matters. At least we can look forward to more possession in the home leg next week. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Juve fans are not good. 2. Hanna likes the ‘bird pigeons’ bahaha […]

CL: PSG (2) 1 - 3 (0) United

CL: PSG (2) 1 – 3 (0) United

This is one of those all-time greatest great “Where were you..?” moments… So, where were you? We agreed to meet at The Fleece at 6, so we’d get a good seat. I messaged you at 5 and nothing. I messaged you at 5:45; still nothing. I got myself a good seat thanks for asking and […]

Crystal Palace vs. United

Crystal Palace vs. United

    (@Benglorious) If we all cast our collective minds back, we’ll remember that a previous injury crisis gave a first team debut to a certain young Marcus Rashford, who has since gone on to cement his place as one of the most exciting attacking talents in Europe. Unfortunately, he’s injured so we’re fucked. Prediction: […]

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