Pregame

United vs. Wolves

United vs. Wolves

  (@Benglorious)  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t do words today pals please make up some. Although I don’t think Wolves should be allowed to be football unfair on both sides imho Be football? I’d’ve said ‘play football’ makes more sense that way imho you bald cunt Though kicking wolves around for 90 minutes would be unfair too Don’t […]

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 […]

Whatford?

Whatford?

(@Benglorious) I am not doing my dogshit words today cos I am sick and tired of always being upstaged by Brett and his really amazing words. Skip to the end to read Brett’s part, and don’t read this to avoid disappointment. Prediction: You will have already have skipped to the end cos Me and Mcghee. m  (@tom_mcghee) […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

    (@Benglorious) I have a friend named Lee and if someone told me to burn him it would be far less painful than watching United. I don’t really have a friend named Lee but I would burn him just for this joke. Burnley, Brighton, who gives a fuck? Currently, we couldn’t beat a twitter […]

United vs. Spurs

United vs. Spurs

      (@Benglorious) It’s only the third fucking game of the fucking season and I’m already fucking done with fucking football. Unless they bring back VAR and Russians who can literally run forever, I’m switching to rugby. And not the good one. Prediction: Hopes to be dashed quite expertly yet again. 0-0 United. m […]

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

        (@Benglorious) Brighton will be out for revenge today after United beat them in the 1983 FA Cup final which also saw them relegated from the old First Division. The rules were different back then. Prediction: Pogba to continue his 100% record of being in the news, Sanchez to prove he’s the […]

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

    (@Benglorious) This has been the worst summer ever. Not only did I get invited to Tom’s “house” for the annual Bifurcated BBQ, but also the only thing on telly for the whole 3 months was Danny Dyer’s daughter getting pumped. *phone rings* …….. …….. What the fuck is a world cup? The WhatsApp […]

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will […]

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

  (@Benglorious) Football’s out for summer Football’s out for ever That last one’s probably not 100% accurate but you have to hand some artistic licence to Mr Cooper, whether you’re hanging with him or not. You also have to give the man some serious credit: he literally has a song for every occasion – when […]

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

    (@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. […]

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

(@Benglorious) I still can’t believe there’s games left in this shitpot season. At least we’ve got the whole summer to get a break from football. Prediction: Brighton to have an interesting concept, but make poor use of Will Smith, have a terrible plot and just not be a cohesive piece of filmmaking. How can you […]

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts. Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck […]

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