Pregame

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you know what else makes me laugh? John Terry crying. Prediction: If she don’t come, I’ll […]

CL: United vs. Benfica

CL: United vs. Benfica

    (@Benglorious) Having not watched the Spurs game due to being roped in to building some decking with the worst hangover of my adult life, I don’t feel I am in a position to comment on United’s form going into this Champions League match. Prediction: We will fucking crush Benfica and make their six […]

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

(@Benglorious) Too busy. Whatever Tom says. Prediction: Tom to say nothing. 0-0 United.   m  (@tom_mcghee) Too busy. Whatever Brett says. Prediction: Brett to say nothing. 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Too busy. Whatever Benno says. Prediction: Benno to say nothing. 0-0 United.

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that […]

Huddersfield vs. United

Huddersfield vs. United

Not wasting joke on this.

CL: Benfica vs. United

CL: Benfica vs. United

 @Benglorious) After the weekend’s disappointing game against Liverpool in the mediocrity of a competition that is the Premier League, tonight is a welcome return to the unrivalled magnificence of the UEFA Champions League European Cup Sponsored By Gazprom. Mourinho rested a good number of his squad ahead of this match, with many of them seen […]

Liverpool vs. United

Liverpool vs. United

   @Benglorious) I’m also going to leave this one to you B-man. Big kisses. P.s put that Klopp picture as the preview header today. You’re so talented. Extra kisses. Prediction: I love Brett more than Tom. m  (@tom_mcghee) I’m going to leave this one to you B-dawg. You’re the best. I’ve always said that. Brett […]

United vs. Crystal Palace

United vs. Crystal Palace

 @Benglorious) Crystal Palace have never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. Their new manager, Roy Hodgson, has never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. This season, United have won all three games at Old Trafford in the Premiership League, scoring ten goals. Palace haven’t scored a single goal this season in […]

CL: CSKA Moscow vs. United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs. United

 @Benglorious) Oh.  (@tom_mcghee) Had a look and nobody had done owt so I didn’t either. Cool story bro.   (@bifurcated_utd) Same.

Southampton vs. United

Southampton vs. United

 @Benglorious) Remember when we got beat by Southampton because we wore a grey kit? Days so dark all we could taste were the bitter ashes of yet another measly premiership title. Our fourth one, for Christ’s sake. It still sickens me to my very core to think of this, even though twenty years have passed. […]

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

 @Benglorious) Always preferred Topman myself.   Prediction: Lukaku to deny the Emperor before being saved by his father’s last shred of humanity, the jammy bastard. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Does Liz Taylor know that he’s back from the dead? m Prediction: Goals, goals, goals. Red lips, fingertips. 2-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Can’t believe those two […]

United vs. Everton

United vs. Everton

 @Benglorious) Do you remember when we had Rooney and it was good? Do you also remember when we had Rooney and it was bad? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time? Remember the Titans? These are all things that can be remembered. As will Rooney’s winning goal […]

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