FA Cup

FAC: Chelsea 1 - 0 United

FAC: Chelsea 1 – 0 United

Who knew that a team without Ander Herrera would lose to a team with 97 Kantes spread out over the pitch in parts of the pitch that are undetectable to the human eye?! It’s always good to remember that in losing this game we have successfully avoided all the big teams in the semi-final draw. […]

FA Cup: Chelsea vs. United

FA Cup: Chelsea vs. United

(@Benglorious) Last time we played Chelsea we did something, but that was in the league. This is the real test – the FA Cup. Our last meeting with Chelsea in this competition resulted in something. As the current holders, United need to prove they’re better than Chelsea by channelling the cup spirit of Lincoln and […]

FA Cup: Blackburn 1 - 2 United

FA Cup: Blackburn 1 – 2 United

Magical Jose Mourinho used the magic of the cup to make magical Zlatan and magical Pogba magically appear on the pitch and magically create and magically score the magical winning magic. And now you’re gonna etc… Here’s 5 magical things we magic: 1. Brett is bad. 2. He was working. If anything he’s a working […]

FA Cup: Blackburn vs. United

FA Cup: Blackburn vs. United

(@Benglorious) Blackburn Rovers gained their unique name in 1911, when, due to all eligible men of footballing age having been called up to fight in the Great War, they had to field an XI comprised entirely of local dogs in their cup tie against Accrington Stanley, who himself had to use a lieu day from […]

FA Cup 4th Round: United vs. Wigan

FA Cup 4th Round: United vs. Wigan

   (@Benglorious) Hopefully we can shake off the last two cup defeats suffered by Liverpool, which ended all their hopes of silverware this season, and stick it right up Wigan. I just get the strange feeling that Liverpool’s current plight may raise the spirits at Old Trafford, even amongst the fans. m Prediction: Martial to […]

FAC: United 4 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 4 – 0 Reading

In years from now you’ll be able to tell your grandkids, “I was there!!” A goalscoring feat that we’ll be talking about for generations to come. Cementing one of United’s GOAT’s Hammerlegend status. One of those goalden moments… January 7th, 2017: Marcus Rashford with YET ANOTHER one-yard smash. Nothing else of note happened.   Here’s […]

FAC: United vs. Reading

FAC: United vs. Reading

 (@Benglorious) AND LEEDS m festival m Prediction: Benno to outsmart those chumps who thought they’d taken all the reading jokes. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee) Manchester United Vs Reading is the very last thing we should be encouraging; reading is essential to humanity’s education and future – for us to just attack the concept is both […]

Season Review Innit

Season Review Innit

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace 1 - 2 United (a.e.t)

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace 1 – 2 United (a.e.t)

Winning cups >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Not winning cups. Here’s the final final five things us learned this season: 1. Hearing rumours Mourinho might be new Manager. 2. Pardew has stolen Ross and Monica’s Dad’s moves. 3. I liked it when Jesse scored the goal that won us the cup. It was like the opposite thing that happened […]

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]

FAC: Everton 1 - 2 United

FAC: Everton 1 – 2 United

That was fun. That game had everything. Apart from everything that it didn’t. Give Dave and Tony M everyone elses’ wages. Apart from all the people who have nothing to do with this professional football club. Lol @ professional.       Five things we learned: 1. I liked it when Rooney ran into the […]

FAC: Everton vs. United

FAC: Everton vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you […]

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