Bifurcated Manchester United ~ United vs Hull

Ben (Benglorious):

Even though it’s such a glorious day I sit here miserably knowing full well the inevitability of Liverpool winning the title. I turned off last nights game at 2-0, favouring the newest episode of Game of Thrones. I think I made the right decision as I couldn’t bear the thought of watching them bang in another six goals to utterly humiliate Palace. I’m so confident I made the correct choice that I haven’t even bothered checking the score.

Anyway, ‘Ull are the visitors tonight in a rescheduled fixture. I’m not sure why it was rescheduled. I’m assuming ‘ull must’ve been quite successful in some competition or other because I know WE haven’t. We couldn’t win a game of Jenga against Michael J. Fox, we’ve been so poor this season.

‘Ull is somewhere up t’north, possibly in the state of mind that is Yorkshire. Nobody will ever know exactly. I can’t tell you about any players to watch out for as I only found out they were in the Premiership just now when I checked the fixtures. I DO know that they have some tigers or summin, so you should probably watch out for them as they are magnificent creatures, especially ones trained in the art of soccer kicking.

Prediction: Giggsy’s last match in charge at home will cause panic in the Giggs household when he realises he’d do a better job if he was actually in the stadium. Cue a Roy-of-the-Rovers-style-parachute-onto-the-pitch-type-scenario so he can get his customary league goal to add to the seven already belted in by a “recovering” Van Persie. 1-0 ‘Ull.

About the author: I still haven’t checked last night’s score, so I’m gonna guess at 11-1 to Liverpool.