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Southampton 1 - 1 United

Southampton 1 – 1 United

Wise men will look at United’s indifferent start to the campaign and say “a season is a marathon, not a sprint”. Idiots. That’s athletics.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Ole said we can’t control results or outcomes. Someone should explain to him what the manager’s job is imho. 2. Was hoping Paul Pogba […]

United 1 - 2 Crystal Palace

United 1 – 2 Crystal Palace

We need to score more goals than the other team imho. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Nothing.

Wolves 1 - 1 United

Wolves 1 – 1 United

AAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US etc.   Here’s the second load of 5 things we have already learned this season: 1. Crispy chilli beef is overrated. 2. Agreed. I’m not sure it’s even beef. Twiglets in a different sauce imho 3. Not that bad imho. Lost there twice last season did’t lose last night. […]

United 4 - 0 Chelsea

United 4 – 0 Chelsea

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD NOW YOU’RE GONNA etc Look, it’s the first 5 things learned of the season: 1. I liked how that kid scored a massive deflection and now he’s the new Ryan Giggs 2. How come Gary Neville doesn’t know how to use punctuation? 3. I watched it when I got home and it was not […]

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]

Huddersfield 1 - 1 United

Huddersfield 1 – 1 United

Looking forward to really concentrating on that top 7 finish next season. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Endgame had a lot of people in it 2. At least ten 3. Thanks for the spoilers 4. I knew if I waited long enough I’d look better than Chris Hemsworth with my top off. 5. Saw […]

United 1 - 1 Chelsea

United 1 – 1 Chelsea

1. Fuck it, stick the McTominator in nets.

United 0 - 2 City

United 0 – 2 City

As if.

Everton 4 - 0 United

Everton 4 – 0 United

So glad we fucked of those preview words. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim. 2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes ¬†you are moribund 3. Oooh check out […]

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) - (0) 0 United

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit […]

United 2 - 1 West Ham

United 2 – 1 West Ham

A return to winning ways after an apocalyptic run of losings stretching back further than any of us can remember, might just save Ole’s job.   For now.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Good to see us win in the style of Manchester United of old 2. I didn’t watch it 3. I […]

CL: United 0 - 1 Barcelona

CL: United 0 – 1 Barcelona

With the treble very much still on, Ole’s clearly briefed the team to save all the goals for when it really matters. At least we can look forward to more possession in the home leg next week. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Juve fans are not good. 2. Hanna likes the ‘bird pigeons’ bahaha […]

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