Postgame

Arsenal 2 - 0 United

Arsenal 2 – 0 United

Football fans are weird. Bad weird. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Always check the location of water pipes before you screw a floorboard down 2. Bahahahahahaha but seriously unlucky with that 3. After replacing drilled pipe, a handy hint is to mark out your pipe runs on flooring for future alterations etc £25 please […]

CL: PSG (2) 1 - 3 (0) United

CL: PSG (2) 1 – 3 (0) United

This is one of those all-time greatest great “Where were you..?” moments… So, where were you? We agreed to meet at The Fleece at 6, so we’d get a good seat. I messaged you at 5 and nothing. I messaged you at 5:45; still nothing. I got myself a good seat thanks for asking and […]

United 3 - 2 Southampton

United 3 – 2 Southampton

Didn’t watch it.

Crystal Palace 1 - 3 United

Crystal Palace 1 – 3 United

Didn’t watch it.

Crystal Palace vs. United

Crystal Palace vs. United

    (@Benglorious) If we all cast our collective minds back, we’ll remember that a previous injury crisis gave a first team debut to a certain young Marcus Rashford, who has since gone on to cement his place as one of the most exciting attacking talents in Europe. Unfortunately, he’s injured so we’re fucked. Prediction: […]

United 0 - 0 Liverpool

United 0 – 0 Liverpool

We didn’t watch it.

FAC: Chelsea 0 - 2 United

FAC: Chelsea 0 – 2 United

The only real downside to last night’s result is the footage emerging of Alexis Sanchez looking very small. Apparently, he is just very small and not just very far away. Wait, two downsides: the MBM Krang/turtles tweet was wasted on all you scum.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. People sure don’t like Sanchez […]

CL: United 0 - 2 PSG

CL: United 0 – 2 PSG

One for the grandkids … “Where were you when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer lost his one and only game as manager of Manchester United Football Club”? That Alexis7 hatty is going to be even more sweeter, now he’s decided to wait until the second leg. I wonder what they will make his statue out of? These […]

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

“We’ve finally got our United back!” Plastics. We remained Top Reds throughout. No need to look back through our previews and reviews over the last 3 years.  The science checks out.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Glad I’m not a Chelsea fan 2. Which team do you support, again? 3. The best one […]

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

In memory of the Tree, United scrapped to a tense one goal victory with no plan b. Goodnight sweet branchy cunt. Here’s another 5 things learned: 1. Arsenal are very bad 2. Rashford is very good. 3. Don’t do a preview before anyone else you’re wasting your life.

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

Imagine watching that game and using it as evidence to prove that Ole shouldn’t be the manager. And also focussing on the City result. Abs Clown Shoes imho. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. #JoseIn 2. Fuck City.

FAC: Arsenal 1 - 3 United

FAC: Arsenal 1 – 3 United

Tis oft said (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA like olden days language innit. Like Quaff, or Peacock Feathers) that the FA Cup is a magical competition, where miracles abound etc etc … Alexis Sanchez. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Jesse moonwalking all over the pitch is the greatest celebration of all time and anyone who disagrees is […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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