Postgame

FAC: Derby 0 - 2 United

FAC: Derby 0 – 2 United

As Jesse Lingered continues to single-handedly win us every trophy we have won in the past 30 years, Jose Mourinho continues to burn them. Here’s 5 things we learned innit: 1. Letting Steven drive is a mistake. 2. Lingard’s goal was good … but his dancing drives me mad !! 3. What game was it?

Everton 0 - 2 United

Everton 0 – 2 United

Rooney sure showed us. BahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH etc. Here’s 5 things we learnt: 1. Even without some of our first choice players I find it very difficult to believe that United can catch us now. 2. But you’rOh!! It’s a joke! 3. If you have dinner and miss the game the result seems better because you didn’t […]

United 0 - 0 Southampton

United 0 – 0 Southampton

As we consolidated our position at the top of the any normal English Premier League season table, with another outstanding top of the any normal English Premier League season table performance, we learned 5 things… 1. Explosive diarrhoea is preferable to what we just watched. 2. As is vomiting at the same time. 3. I […]

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

Messi Lingard saves the day once again. Though actually playing football quite well for 90 minutes might also be worth a try. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. hashtagmourihnoout 2. hashtagdychein 3. I wish your dog was dead too tbf. 4. That is too far Brett. Too far by far. 5. It was funny […]

Leicester 2 - 2 United

Leicester 2 – 2 United

MataLand. Like Matalan. But better. Probably less sales at Christmas. Here’s 5 learns: 1. Pogba’s shooting from distance was a highlight imho. 2. Missing all those chances was silly. 3. I enjoyed the parts of the game where it looked like we might win it. 4. Happy Christmas Cunts. 5. Right Backatcha. 6. Did I […]

EFL CUP QF: Bristol City 2 - 1 United

EFL CUP QF: Bristol City 2 – 1 United

Told you last minute goals were for tools. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Wasn’t there a big row about not being on telly? It is on telly. Lol. What a day. 2. That was the fa cup. Read a fucking book sometime. 3. Not sure you can fit both teams on a telly […]

West Brom 1 - 2 United

West Brom 1 – 2 United

And the Reds go marchin’ on on on. Off. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Have already forgotten entire game. 2. I think Tony V got injured. 3. Was that the game where Hammy Gammon Gary Barry scored?

United 1 - 0 Bournemouth

United 1 – 0 Bournemouth

1-0 to United. It’s just like the days of Eric. It isn’t. 5 things we learned: 1. Illegal streams leave a lot to be desired. 2. No Last Jedi spoilers McGhee I swear to God I’ll fuck you up. 3. Lips, sealed. But I was shocked to see Han return as a force ghost. 4. […]

United 1 - 2 City

United 1 – 2 City

Who knew City were better than us? Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask your opinion.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Blue Planet 2 is a bit preachy. 2. I thought we were beaten by a team better than us at the minute. The league should really put together a table of team’s […]

United 2 - 1 CSKA Moscow

United 2 – 1 CSKA Moscow

5 things we learned: 1. Let’s all agree we’re probably the real heroes.

Arsenal 1 - 3 United

Arsenal 1 – 3 United

Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. That was actually pretty good.

Watford 2 - 4 United

Watford 2 – 4 United

That picture and caption from last week works this week. This goes right to the very top. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. See above.

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted