Bifurcated Manchester United ~ United vs. Arsenal

(@Benglorious)

Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts.

Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck bookend a credible win for Watford. Wenger to get a standing ovation from the knowledgeable Old Trafford crowd until he reveals that he has all the Infinity Stones. Bedlam. 0-0 United.

(@tom_mcghee)

More like (This is the) ArsEND (for) Wenger !! But seriously, what can you say about a man who ceased to be relevant almost a decade ago? Sure, he may have revolutionised the game by being the first to notice salad was less fatty than lager, pie and chips but at the same time, he can’t operate a zip on a coat. So who IS Arsene Wenger? A professor or a clown? For me the answer is somewhere in the middle but also I don’t care because he’s a cunt and I hate him. I wish him all the best. Also can someone change my picture back to my face, I hate it as it is.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Wasn’t going to review this as I didn’t want to spoil it for people but then I remembered how someone ruined The Force Awakens for me so here comes the payback: Han Solo gets offed by Kylo Ren.

In review of the actual film: Thanos is on the march yo – killing [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] almost immediately – looking for some Infinity Stones. This is the plot. Anyways, turns out the “Avengers” don’t want him to have them as they think his ideas of genocide are misjudged. Everyone fights and tells jokes for the rest of the movie until [REDACTED] kills [REDACTED] to win the day only for [REDACTED] to use the [REDACTED] and then the [REDACTED] to kill [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Doc Strange has a plan imho (re: Avengers). For this game? Lets say 8-2

(@bifurcated_utd)

What can we write about Arsene Wenger that hasn’t been written before? Do we still love Danny? THESE ARE LEGIT QUESTIONS WHY IS NO-ONE ANSWERING ME??!!

I’m in Scotland. Probably doing something traditionally Scottish like wearing a grass skirt and drinking face paint off of a clown.

Prediction: Nothing. Apart from his penchant for wearing snail’s shells on his distended testicles. And actually no, but actually yes. 0-0 United

Comments are closed.