Do you remember when we had Rooney and it was good? Do you also remember when we had Rooney and it was bad? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time? Remember the Titans? These are all things that can be remembered. As will Rooney’s winning goal for Everton today. I miss him.
Prediction: Lukaku to freak out Ewok nuts by levitating his annoying robot servant in the ultimate display of blasphemy. 4-0 United.
I am at a christening because if there’s one thing in this world that I love above all else, it’s religious babies.
Prediction: Roonsquad to do that thing he does that we’re glad he does for Everton and not us anymore. 2-0 United.
I am in Poland again because I love kielbasa and also I don’t know any other countries.
Prediction: Goals for Robert Lewandowski, Frédéric Chopin and Pope John Paul II. 0-0 United.