Lukaku

United 3 - 2 Newcastle

United 3 – 2 Newcastle

  Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]

West Ham 3 - 1 United

West Ham 3 – 1 United

So proud. Another none-loss at OT. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. You can make Febreze with fabric softener and water mixed in a spray bottle. 2. Beginning to think Jose Mourinho isn’t the brilliant tactician I thought he was [insert homer running in circles on the ground gif or don’t who fucking cares] 3. […]

Burnley 0 - 2 United

Burnley 0 – 2 United

To drive traffic to the Bif site we have put the word Google in to this opening paragraph. All we need do now is wait for Lady Fame to come a-knocking…     Here are the 5 things we feel most beneficial to share with you all from the any number of things (5) we […]

United 0 - 3 Spurs

United 0 – 3 Spurs

The “conjecture” after the “contest” seems “medialised” around Jose Mourinho, and his “legislative” performance, which is exactly what “they” want. Do yourselves a favour and put “” around words, so, you look “engaged” and “perceptive” and Google synonyms, so you can “echo” what other people “orate” but with your own “diacritic” stamp on it and […]

Brighton 3 - 2 United

Brighton 3 – 2 United

This Premier League season continues to race along like a Roller Coaster in a travelling temporary funfair which was signed off by the guy on work experience: one week your enjoying the unparalleled sensation where fear and adventure abound and the next week your dead. Here’s 5 things we learned that we have never learned […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

Brighton 1 - 0 United

Brighton 1 – 0 United

A If we can beat all the top teams, and yet get beaten by all the worst teams, and yet can win, lose, or draw against all the mid-table teams, and still finish se, no I’ve forgotten my etc.     Here’s another 5 things we learned, even if we haven’t learned what the league […]

Bournemouth 0 - 2 United

Bournemouth 0 – 2 United

We learned nothing. That doesn’t count.

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

I don’t need to write anything about the game here, as the 5 things we learned bit below more than makes up the word count. Here’s  5 things we learned: 1. The best bit was tasting Graeme’s salty tears. 2. Other good bits were Lukaku and Pogba and Matic. 3. Sanchez was not a good […]

FAC: Huddersfield 0 - 2 United

FAC: Huddersfield 0 – 2 United

As the mighty Red Army from Manchester goes marching on to Wemberleeeeee gloreeeeee in spite of VAR and its fascist regime of hate and bigotry. I forgot my point. <—–That picture actually matches the narrative. Who’d have thought.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Lukaku is the greatest striker in the history of the […]

United 2 - 0 Huddersfield Town

United 2 – 0 Huddersfield Town

With Huddersfield distracted by trying to figure out whether they were a Field or a Town, United notched up two goals in spite of their best attempts to miss them both like the heroes we deserve. Lols @ Sanchez Rooneying his penalty like a true Red Leg. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. The Last […]

United 3 - 0 Stoke

United 3 – 0 Stoke

It was a welcome return to form for Paul Pogba as his two little passes ensured that both Tony V and Martial could not miss their absolute screamers from 20 yards. With Liverpool inflicting the first defeat of City’s momentous title challenge collapse, the only thing that can stand in the way of United and […]

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