mufc

m (@Benglorious) Fuck Andy Murray. I don’t hate him because he’s Scottish. I don’t hate him because he’s a miserable cunt. I don’t even hate him because he plays the most Tory of sports. I hate him because he let the Green Goblin kill Gwen Stefani. Prediction: Respect from Poch, enthusiasm from Ole, narrative from […]

  m (@Benglorious) After the thorough despatchings of Cardiff, ‘uddersfield, Bournemouth and Newcassal, Ole’s first real test as United’s interimming temporary caretaking non-permanent manager comes today in the FA Cup final. Solskjaer’s boys will be looking to make sure the Writing is on the wall for Reading, ensuring their place in History. Maths. Prediction: Yet […]

    (@Benglorious) I haven’t been this excited about a former United legend becoming our manager since 2015 when I took us through 5 unbeaten seasons in all competitions on PES 2016. Now I’m not saying Ole has a lot to live up to, but I was also playing, captaining, and taking home the golden […]

(@Benglorious) Couldn’t.  (@tom_mcghee) Care. (@bifurcated_utd) Less.

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 […]

      (@Benglorious) It’s only the third fucking game of the fucking season and I’m already fucking done with fucking football. Unless they bring back VAR and Russians who can literally run forever, I’m switching to rugby. And not the good one. Prediction: Hopes to be dashed quite expertly yet again. 0-0 United. m […]

(@Benglorious) If Liverpool beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City hang on I’ve nearly got this Prediction: A last-minute winner from RVP after the best shin of all time from Rooney. 0-0 United. […]

  (@Benglorious) Tonight is when we see if Sanchez is worth paying more than a BBC presenter. Can the True Blue Gunner Gooner use his mighty Arsenal heart to vanquish the mighty Carmon Youspurs? This reporter says dunno. Prediction: Sanchez to surpass all expectations by simply not being Armenian. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Was so […]

(@Benglorious) Brighton are renowned for the invention of rock, even though everybody secretly knows it was Lenny Kravitz. Prediction: Goals for the Rash and the Marsh see the Unitesh to a comfortable victory. Lukaku to get a timely lift off his sister and Lando by thinking really hard. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we playing […]

 @Benglorious) Crystal Palace have never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. Their new manager, Roy Hodgson, has never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. This season, United have won all three games at Old Trafford in the Premiership League, scoring ten goals. Palace haven’t scored a single goal this season in […]

 @Benglorious) Remember when we got beat by Southampton because we wore a grey kit? Days so dark all we could taste were the bitter ashes of yet another measly premiership title. Our fourth one, for Christ’s sake. It still sickens me to my very core to think of this, even though twenty years have passed. […]