mufc

United vs. Newcastle

United vs. Newcastle

(@Benglorious) Couldn’t.  (@tom_mcghee) Care. (@bifurcated_utd) Less.

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 […]

United vs. Spurs

United vs. Spurs

      (@Benglorious) It’s only the third fucking game of the fucking season and I’m already fucking done with fucking football. Unless they bring back VAR and Russians who can literally run forever, I’m switching to rugby. And not the good one. Prediction: Hopes to be dashed quite expertly yet again. 0-0 United. m […]

City vs. United

City vs. United

(@Benglorious) If Liverpool beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City hang on I’ve nearly got this Prediction: A last-minute winner from RVP after the best shin of all time from Rooney. 0-0 United. […]

Tottenham Hot Spurs vs. United

Tottenham Hot Spurs vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Tonight is when we see if Sanchez is worth paying more than a BBC presenter. Can the True Blue Gunner Gooner use his mighty Arsenal heart to vanquish the mighty Carmon Youspurs? This reporter says dunno. Prediction: Sanchez to surpass all expectations by simply not being Armenian. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Was so […]

United vs. Brighton

United vs. Brighton

(@Benglorious) Brighton are renowned for the invention of rock, even though everybody secretly knows it was Lenny Kravitz. Prediction: Goals for the Rash and the Marsh see the Unitesh to a comfortable victory. Lukaku to get a timely lift off his sister and Lando by thinking really hard. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we playing […]

United vs. Crystal Palace

United vs. Crystal Palace

 @Benglorious) Crystal Palace have never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. Their new manager, Roy Hodgson, has never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. This season, United have won all three games at Old Trafford in the Premiership League, scoring ten goals. Palace haven’t scored a single goal this season in […]

Southampton vs. United

Southampton vs. United

 @Benglorious) Remember when we got beat by Southampton because we wore a grey kit? Days so dark all we could taste were the bitter ashes of yet another measly premiership title. Our fourth one, for Christ’s sake. It still sickens me to my very core to think of this, even though twenty years have passed. […]

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

 @Benglorious) Always preferred Topman myself.   Prediction: Lukaku to deny the Emperor before being saved by his father’s last shred of humanity, the jammy bastard. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Does Liz Taylor know that he’s back from the dead? m Prediction: Goals, goals, goals. Red lips, fingertips. 2-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Can’t believe those two […]

United vs. Everton

United vs. Everton

 @Benglorious) Do you remember when we had Rooney and it was good? Do you also remember when we had Rooney and it was bad? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time? Remember the Titans? These are all things that can be remembered. As will Rooney’s winning goal […]

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

 @Benglorious) City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.   Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) ‘You […]

Swansea vs. United

Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) It’s so much easier to write a decent preview after we’ve won the previous game.   Prediction: Lukaku to continue his development by kissing his sister and then hitting the winner into the exhaust port. 3-1, United  m  (@tom_mcghee) Cannot do words today. I am a conscientious objector over Swansea’s role in Vietnam. Damn them, damn […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted

Archive