“THERE’S ONLY ONE UNITED!!” goes the famous terrace chant, and today the FA Cup proves that football fans are idiots and liars. Things that the FA Cup is yet to prove include: Magic, giants (killed or not) and cup fever. I think we can all agree that the FA Cup has 24 hours to get results or it will be back walking the beat faster than it can blink. I’ve forgotten my point.
Opposition Analysis: Sheffield United are the only team in the FA Cup with “United” in their name.
Prediction: Vangle to put on his Fergie mask (movie quality, obvs) so the FA decide to send us to play a nice, friendly tournament in a nice, warm country that has nice, brown coconuts or summin growing by the roads. 0-0 United, but one of those ones where we actually score more goals than zero. Just kidding. Are minus goals a thing?
I’ve done nothing because I’m helping H-dubz move house this weekend. It’s great. Like working but for no money.
The Hateful Eight (2016)
Tarantino’s eighth major release features an incredible ensemble cast (and Samuel L. Jackson) and has been lauded as his eighth consecutive masterpiece by at least eight reviewers that I don’t need to watch it. That aside, pretty good.
Another lie is when F.A Cup games do a replay, if you look closely the replay games are totally different and even at totally different stadiums. It would make more sense for the teams to play a totally new game anyway. Imagine drawing 0-0 and having to watch it replayed forever.
Also, what about Tottenham United?
I have cracked a rib lolling at Benno’s preview. Or was it when I crashed into a wall, go-karting? Either way writing this hurts even more than usual. So I’m going to
Prediction: 0-0 United to not score last. I wrote this bit before the bit above where I stopped.