Alan Pardew

Pardew

Pardew

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]

United 2 - 0 Crystal Palace

United 2 – 0 Crystal Palace

Roondog is well and truly back. Run tell your Mamma. Scream it from the rooftops. Throw a party for some friends you haven’t seen since like forever. Live today like it’s your last. Tell that man or woman in the office that you flirt with occasionally, that you would leave your husband or wife and […]

United v Sheffield United

United v Sheffield United

m  Benno (@Benglorious) “THERE’S ONLY ONE UNITED!!” goes the famous terrace chant, and today the FA Cup proves that football fans are idiots and liars. Things that the FA Cup is yet to prove include: Magic, giants (killed or not) and cup fever. I think we can all agree that the FA Cup has 24 hours to […]

Crystal Palace vs United

Crystal Palace vs United

   Benno (@Benglorious) Has he done the Wayne RoooOOOoooOOO000oney gag? Shit. What about the Marrying Formaldahyde one? What are the odds, eh? David Moyes, now that was scary.   m Opposition summary: Crystal Palace are the best team in the Premiership League with a house in their name. Unless you count Aston Villa, but nobody does. Prediction: […]

United vs Newcastle

United vs Newcastle

Tom (@Tom_McGhee): I haven’t done one because I don’t work on Jesus Birthday but I’m sick of these two putting words in my mouth something something Optimus Prime something Star Wars something Nasri for Rooney. I don’t know why this is in bold band massive. Prediction: Font changes back to…smaller….Some goals are either scored or not scored […]

Newcastle vs United

Newcastle vs United

Ben (Benglorious): Newcastle, as far as I’m aware, does not have a new castle.  Nowhere does.  Castles haven’t been built anywhere for hundreds of years [<<check this].  It should, therefore, be called ‘Oldcastle’.  However, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have an old castle either [<<check this as well], and seeing as there isn’t a name for […]

United 0 - 1 Newcastle

United 0 – 1 Newcastle

Tom (@Tom_McGhee):  I maintain my Star Wars metaphor still works. That’s the only plus point. . Brett: Had you noticed David Moyes is an anagram of vending machine. IT’S CLOSE ENOUGH!! It’s because he’s a vending machine. A vending machine, that is, stocked with saying the wrong things: *Selects – E* *Selects – 4* *whirring […]

United vs Newcastle

United vs Newcastle

Tom (@Tom_McGhee): Crisis averted, I’m back (it can’t have escaped anyone’s notice that our season has dipped dramatically since I went on sabbatical). I’ll be honest, I was hoping that my return would coincide with a decisive victory against Everton but since that’s clearly not going to happen, it might as well be now*. Anyways, […]

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