Vangle

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]

What a dramatic Sky Sports send off for Boleyn Park, as both teams played their part in a momentous Sky Sports game brought to you in association with Sky Sports, that should have been fondly remembered by generations of Sky Sports viewers for generations of Sky Sports. Sadly, the game will be remembered for the […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) I don’t know what all the fuss is about – any idiot can put gifs on a United preview.   Opposition Summary: Cockneys. Loathe them or hate them, they’re a vital part of something very specific to their particular little corner of London. What that is, only the Cockney elders know, and they never grass. ’nuff said, geeze. […]

By the time you read this Manchester City and Arsenal will have drawn 2-2, handing us an opportunity to – despite our best efforts – qualify for next season’s Champion’s League. Imagine that. Jose Mourinho has already said that if this happens he will manage every game, in the 2016/17 Premier League season, in just […]

If Leicester go on to win the league they’ll remember this day for the hell of a Vangleing they suffered at the hands of Louis Vangle’s Self-Harmy. Guess we’ll never know if they will. Not sure why anyone needs the excuse of arousing Vangle to elbow Robert Huth in the face. Especially anyone who has […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you […]

Brett’s too busy crying over being stood up for the eightieth time in six days to write this review. Or he’s too busy with work, I forget what he said now.  West Ham were the opponents for this cup game and I bet they wished they’d spent more money on players rather than wasting it […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) With a convincing FA Cup win over West Ham during the week, Vangle proved yet again why he is firmly in the top two of United managers in the post-Fergie era. Four more years of this, please. Easily the highlight of Wednesday’s game was young Marcus Rashford keeping his fairy tale season going by […]

   Benno (@Benglorious) Another Wednesday night, another replay. Not the good kind of replay like seeing Carlos Alberto’s goal in the 1970 World Cup final again, or getting a free ball on the pinball, or that episode of Murder, She Wrote that had the headless horseman in it, or when United played West Ham again after a tepid […]

So, we managed to stop Hurricane scoring. We also managed to not allow them to score for more minutes of the game than they scored in. We also managed to keep one team from scoring all game. We also managed to get on the telly. What does Vangle have to do to convince you fickle, […]