United vs. Southampton

(@Benglorious)

My Christmas was great right up until the time I got a Christmas virus and I made my toilet look like a cheap coffee maker. The agony and frailty I’m experiencing as I type this still makes me feel better than watching the highlights of our last two games.

Prediction: May try solid foods after the match. Will definitely be cleaning the toilet either way. Still better than watching us tbh. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

I have done no words as I am apparently going to a match.

Prediction: 0-0 United

The Punisher (2017)

Boy, he sure does love punishering.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

Another “amazing” game, inconveniently scheduled to tempt me away from the familiar comfort of my annual Christmas virus. Not. A. Chance.

Hey, if I wanted to be depressed I would move to one of those countries where they only have 7 minutes of sunshine every 100 years, and set the automatic timer on my SAD lamp to only come on during the longest days of the summer months, after leaving it in one of those countries where they have 100 years of sunshine every 7 minutes.

Prediction: I’m going to go to the pub with my Christmas virus, and really really really really enjoy every second of the experience. 0-0 United.