Mourinho

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will […]

Brighton 1 - 0 United

Brighton 1 – 0 United

A If we can beat all the top teams, and yet get beaten by all the worst teams, and yet can win, lose, or draw against all the mid-table teams, and still finish se, no I’ve forgotten my etc.     Here’s another 5 things we learned, even if we haven’t learned what the league […]

FAC SF United 2 - 1 Tottenham Spurs

FAC SF United 2 – 1 Tottenham Spurs

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS … !!!! Wait. What were we saying?! andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus no, it’s gone.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. After a couple of minor upgrades Atreus becomes a decent ally to Kratos. 2. Herrera is the […]

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

(@Benglorious) The sun is shining, God of War is up and running, and it’s FA Cup semi-final day. I don’t want to seem like I’m exaggerating when I say this is the greatest day in the history of our species, but it truly is the greatest day ever. Prediction: Goals for Sanchez, Pogba and Smalling give […]

Bournemouth 0 - 2 United

Bournemouth 0 – 2 United

We learned nothing. That doesn’t count.

United 0 - 1 West Brom

United 0 – 1 West Brom

whnwkmkcsmklsnncjknsjdkcnjsnjkdnfjnsdcjnbkbkbkbfokbofbkofbkfbmkfmbmmfgdsajkhhwuoahvuinsadivninavnianvniavna xjkcsdcsdnsajvnsjvnsjdv;sdnvsdn;anvsdnavlsdlka;vnsalnvlsdnvlsd etc Here’s 5 things we sjdhfkjsdahvcjksdjkbvjkdsbauibfewbacinjknlakwecnwamc: 1. Well done, City. We’ll try harder next season maybe. 2. Fuck City suck it you blue fucks. 3. We are terrible at football.

Crystal Palace 2 - 3 United

Crystal Palace 2 – 3 United

Mourinho and the United Red Boys of Old Dreams Trafford turned the clock back to the good old days. Of this season. Shit for most of the game. Not shit when we do something not shit. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I actually got a tiny bit excited about a game for the first […]

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

I don’t need to write anything about the game here, as the 5 things we learned bit below more than makes up the word count. Here’s  5 things we learned: 1. The best bit was tasting Graeme’s salty tears. 2. Other good bits were Lukaku and Pogba and Matic. 3. Sanchez was not a good […]

United vs. Chelsea

United vs. Chelsea

  (@Benglorious) Remember that time we beat Chelsea because Herrera stood on top of their best player for the whole match like a tiny Spanish hat? Well, today we’re fucked because Ander’s only gone and got himself a terminal injury as per BT Sport’s insightful commentary team. Maybe we could just try and beat them […]

CL: Sevilla 0 - 0 United

CL: Sevilla 0 – 0 United

We had to endure a WhatsApp group chat with real talk from McGhee. This game was bad. Or at least some aspect of it was. Whatever McGhee was talking about. Dunno. Didn’t read it.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. So confused. Before the game everyone was mad about Pogba not playing in […]

Newcastle 1 - 0 United

Newcastle 1 – 0 United

Phil Jones and Chris Smalling are the best. BEST. ABSO BEST. In a parallel Universe Jose got his wish and the game is still being played. It’s currently 9087 – 0. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I didn’t watch the game because I wasn’t watching it. 2. My new jam is Taken The Series. […]

United vs. Huddersfield Town

United vs. Huddersfield Town

  (@Benglorious) I’m taking instagam pictures of my bathroom taps and fixing a water pipe on to my dog’s face. Prediction: Irreverent reference to lots of goals with a 0-0 United punchline. m  (@tom_mcghee) I’m bench pressing wacky baccy at The Plumbing Centre. Film Review (10BC) 10 out of 10. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: Names […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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