Mourinho

United vs. Stoke

United vs. Stoke

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe Stoke got a new manager today. Really can’t believe Stoke got a new manager at all. All I know about Paul Lambert is that he defeated the Kurgan and tasted that sweet, sweet Quickening. Prediction: It’s a kind of magic. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I am not writing another preview until […]

FAC: Derby 0 - 2 United

FAC: Derby 0 – 2 United

As Jesse Lingered continues to single-handedly win us every trophy we have won in the past 30 years, Jose Mourinho continues to burn them. Here’s 5 things we learned innit: 1. Letting Steven drive is a mistake. 2. Lingard’s goal was good … but his dancing drives me mad !! 3. What game was it?

Everton vs. United

Everton vs. United

(@Benglorious) After I celebrated the dawning of the new year with a glass of apple juice and some dry crackers, I am actually looking forward to today’s game. Not having had anything with any flavour in it for the last few days has given me a true appreciation for Jose Mourinho’s approach to football. Here’s to […]

United 0 - 0 Southampton

United 0 – 0 Southampton

As we consolidated our position at the top of the any normal English Premier League season table, with another outstanding top of the any normal English Premier League season table performance, we learned 5 things… 1. Explosive diarrhoea is preferable to what we just watched. 2. As is vomiting at the same time. 3. I […]

United vs. Southampton

United vs. Southampton

  (@Benglorious) My Christmas was great right up until the time I got a Christmas virus and I made my toilet look like a cheap coffee maker. The agony and frailty I’m experiencing as I type this still makes me feel better than watching the highlights of our last two games. Prediction: May try solid […]

EFL Cup QF: Bristol City vs. United

EFL Cup QF: Bristol City vs. United

  (@Benglorious) YOU SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL TEAM Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Who the fuck are we playing now? Oh wait is it Brighton? Everyone is moaning about a bottle of wine. Prediction: Why don’t you just bum Julia Caesar? 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Hey lads! Think you mean WINEing! Prediction: Might do. The […]

West Brom vs. United

West Brom vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Don’t you live in a hotel with Lenny Henry? Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I can’t do words because Last Jedi spoilers. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Can you two sort your company out? I still have no intercepting in my new flat. Ruddy Virgin’s Media. Prediction: Make me. 0-0 United.

United 1 - 0 Bournemouth

United 1 – 0 Bournemouth

1-0 to United. It’s just like the days of Eric. It isn’t. 5 things we learned: 1. Illegal streams leave a lot to be desired. 2. No Last Jedi spoilers McGhee I swear to God I’ll fuck you up. 3. Lips, sealed. But I was shocked to see Han return as a force ghost. 4. […]

United 1 - 2 City

United 1 – 2 City

Who knew City were better than us? Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask your opinion.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Blue Planet 2 is a bit preachy. 2. I thought we were beaten by a team better than us at the minute. The league should really put together a table of team’s […]

United vs. City

United vs. City

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

  (@Benglorious) Not doing words because it makes us win. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Not doing words out of respect for arsenal actually winning our last game, despite actually losing. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Not doing words our of respect for ToActually, yeah cos of the winning thing. Prediction: 0-0 United.

Arsenal 1 - 3 United

Arsenal 1 – 3 United

Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. That was actually pretty good.

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