Mourinho

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review

Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno: It doesn’t matter what shape the wheel is, it matters who’s at said wheel and […]

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

“We’ve finally got our United back!” Plastics. We remained Top Reds throughout. No need to look back through our previews and reviews over the last 3 years.  The science checks out.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Glad I’m not a Chelsea fan 2. Which team do you support, again? 3. The best one […]

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

Imagine watching that game and using it as evidence to prove that Ole shouldn’t be the manager. And also focussing on the City result. Abs Clown Shoes imho. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. #JoseIn 2. Fuck City.

United vs. Brighton

United vs. Brighton

m (@Benglorious) It was my job this week to look up what ‘Albion’ meant. So, today we are playing Brighton and Past Tense of Heave England or Britain. No wonder nobody likes them. Prediction: Ole makes it seven out of seven in a seven goal drubbing of poor old Brighton. Mourinho takes the credit. 0 […]

United 4 - 1 Bournemouth

United 4 – 1 Bournemouth

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

Liverpool 3 - 1 United

Liverpool 3 – 1 United

He never learned from our learns. Here’s 5 things we learned – dedicated to the memory of Jose Borinho, cos borinBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how have we not used that befoBAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!   1. Conceding two goals to that weird troll man is a damning indictment (his legs are far to short for his weird […]

Liverpool vs. United

Liverpool vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Prediction: See below. Also cba. M  (@tom_mcghee) Haven’t done words today as I believe my silence will inspire the team. Also why not wait until after the game and then base our preview on the result? We’ll look like Nostradamus. Prediction: Waiting until after the game to base our preview on the result to look like […]

UCL: Valencia vs. United

UCL: Valencia vs. United

(@Benglorious) YEE-HAW HEAD ‘EM UP RIDE ‘EM OUT etc Prediction: Rubber to not have been invented yet. Hat-trick for Pogba plus a brace for Lukaku. 0-0 Valencia M  (@tom_mcghee) Why is it a dead rubber?* We don’t call a game that counts a live rubber. Rubber discrimination? Not for me to say but obviously yes. […]

United 2 - 2 Arsenal

United 2 – 2 Arsenal

Mourinho avoided handing Arsenal the Premier League Title at Old Trafford and didn’t kick a boot into David Beckham’s face after the match, so, should be seen as a vast improvement on the Fergie Era imho.   Here is another 5 things we learned, taking our total tally of learns over the last 4 years […]

Southampton vs. United

Southampton vs. United

(@Benglorious) Howdy, pardner. It’s time to dust off yer six-shooter and mount up. Tonight, we ride. By tonight I mean late afternoon, and by ride I mean scrape another goalless draw. The Pools panel (ask yer da) must hate us. Prediction: All posses joined immediately and all missions completed with no software crashes. Lol more […]

UCL: United 1 - 0 Young Boys

UCL: United 1 – 0 Young Boys

The warm up act to Mourinho’s performance art piece was every bit as exciting as Mourinho’s performance art piece. Here’s 5 things we learnzied: 1. Jose knows and can anticipate when a camera will be turned on him; each action is premeditated and deliberate, he is the living embodiment of the showman. Or he was […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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