It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul.
Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. Martial to do a madness and Zlatan to kick the ref’s face off. The goal stands. 0-0 United.
I preferred football when it was just three, sometimes four games a year, back in the days when if a player even thought about using any part of his boot except the laces to score a goal he’d have been executed by firing squad.
Prediction: Mkhitaryan to score one using his ballbag. 1-0 United.
It’s 2017, a new year, a new dawn, a new day, a new life, fooooor me, and I’m feeling good, and apparently, according to OpthalmicJoe, if we would have started the Premier League a week next Tuesday, all of the last twenty or so years of the Premier League would have never have existed. Makes you think.
West Ham, again? What are they competition winnerers or something?
Prediction: Giroud to score one next week with his labia. 0-0 United.