Crystal Palace vs United

 

Ben (Benglorious):

So (checks fixture list), Crystal Palace, eh?  I really was unsure who we were supposed to be playing.  That’s not apathy on my part towards the rest of our so far atrocious season.  It genuinely feels like our last game was six months ago.  I vaguely recall no goals in a game against a team whose record signing quite obviously practices penalties at Carrington.  Time sure does drag when we’re not playing well.

I’ve done a little research on Crystal Palace as apparently that’s what writers are supposed to do.  The key word there is “little”.  I’m working on the assumption that their name has something to do with their stadium as it’s a bit weird to name a group of players after a type of building (see also: Newcastle and Aston Villa).  My “research” has yielded two salient points: 1) It is NOT a palace; and, B) It’s NOT made of crystal.  Not even quartz, which is the James Corden of crystal varieties.  There’s probably not even a crystal meth dealer in the vicinity to help the fans having to watch “London’s Barcelona” week in, week out.

Yesterday (that’s two days ago if you’re reading this tomorrow), a lazy, disloyal and overweight prick (not James Corden) got a pay rise and job security for life.  This was a very timely piece of news as I definitely need the extra money after Mr Bifocal said he’s having some cash-flow problems at the moment and to please stop calling him at home.  Oh, and Rooney’s been all over Twitter after he signed his name for the first time, joined-up and everything.

Prediction:  I’m gonna try and channel some of Tom’s cheerful optimism this week, think only positive thoughts about the game and stop myself sinking into abject realism.  Now that Rooney can finally afford to provide for his family, he won’t feel performance pressure anymore.  He’ll bag a hat-trick of goals, a hat-trick of final passes that lead to goals and a hat-trick of Man of the Match accolades. FT: 1-0 Palace

About the author:  I really dislike James Corden.

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Brett:

Tony Pulis wears tracksuits. David Moyes used to be of tracksuit too. There has to be something in that. I consulted Ebay…

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A tracksuit is one of the most comfortable articles of clothing. Both men and women can wear these. A tracksuit consists basically of two parts, namely trousers and a jacket. This fitness clothing was generally used during sports and in the gym, while working out. They were and still are, worn over competition clothing such as a swimsuit. British Olympic 200m track athlete Dr. Oliver Johnson Schofield first coined the term ‘tracksuit’. He often wore a loosely knotted tie with the tracksuit during competition, with the idea that a gentleman should never be seen in a suit without a necktie. Thus it can be stated that he gave the humble tracksuit, the importance of business clothing. With the advent of the hip-hop culture in the 1980s, the demand for tracksuits greatly increased. They provided the comfort, flexibility and mobility that are essential for hip-hop dancing and break-dancing. The fact that tracksuits slide easily on smooth surfaces with minimal friction was an added advantage. In early 1960s, Adidas began the production of tracksuits for leisurewear. However, tracksuits were used exclusively for sports. Men’s tracksuits generally came in plain dark colours. In the 70s, tracksuits were made from gloss nylon jersey material. In the 80s, cotton tracksuits gained popularity. In this decade, another kind of tracksuit came into being. This new kind was lightweight and silky from outside, with a lighter netted material lining the inside of the tracksuit. Tracksuits with hoods have also gained importance in recent years. Tracksuits look fashionable and provide good protection from the cold winds, especially while performing sports. Thus, tracksuits prove to be ideal for jogging. In the 1990s, tracksuits became very fashionable, and people started wearing these outside the sporting arena. People also began wearing the trousers and the jackets of tracksuits separately. Thus, variations of tracksuit trousers and tracksuit jacket were made available. In fact, off late, these are largely being sold separately. During the 2000s, women’s tracksuits started being considered fashionable. The glossy and shiny tracksuits also made great club wear.The tracksuit, to this day is increasingly becoming popular. The USP of the tracksuit is that it is comfortable as well as fashionable. Many variations of the tracksuit are now available. Tracksuit bottoms are also known as sweatpants. Sweatpants are usually made from cotton. What distinguishes sweatpants is the elastic band around the ankles. Many variations of the sweatpants are also available. These include fashion pants, wind pants and so on.Tracksuits are ideal as sportswear. Today, even boys tracksuits are available in a number of styles. Occupational tracksuits are gaining popularity. Sometimes, tracksuits also make good industrial clothing and chef clothing. The colourful, shiny ones are perfect for club wear. These come embossed with crystals and other decoration that adds to the beauty of the tracksuit. Popular brands like Adidas, Nike, Puma and so on manufacture tracksuits. High fashion tracksuits are manufactured by brands like Juicy Couture. Tracksuits are also available in personalised clothing labels. Whether worn separately or as an entire ensemble, tracksuits make a great fashion statement.
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Prediction: 18:17 Oranges

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