Moyes

United vs. Swansea

United vs. Swansea

(@Benglorious) After basking in the glow of Sunderland getting deservedly relegated, I considered calling Ol’ Davey Moyes to offer my sympathies. However, I then remembered what an odious prick and terrible manager he is so I went for a poo instead. I also didn’t have his number. m Prediction:  Swansea to knockout Klitschko in the […]

Sunderland 0 - 3 United

Sunderland 0 – 3 United

Captain. Leader. Legend. Haterz gonna hate, but Fella’s gonna regulate! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Goals are good.  

Sunderland vs. United

Sunderland vs. United

(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be […]

United 3 - 1 Sunderland

United 3 – 1 Sunderland

As predicted, if Benno used Brett’s lyrics then world famousness would come a-knocking … and now Benno is the world famousest for being a ‘Tollesbury Gamer’ who played a computer games a month ago or something. Idgi.   Here’s 5 things we learned between the mountains of blow and fountains of boobies:   1. Winning […]

United vs. Sunderland

United vs. Sunderland

   (@Benglorious) Happy Christmas, Brett. Hope you fucking choke on your lyrics.   Prediction: Brett to choke on his lyrics. Moyes to get booed. Nobody cheers. Rojo penalised. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee) ‘Why food poisoning can kill creativity’ – an essay by Tom McGhee I first suspected I was sick when I was violently sick. My […]

United 1 - 1 West Ham

United 1 – 1 West Ham

I’m not Hashtag Mourinho Out but imagine if that’s how you we started a serious adult sentence. Like your Da. Fergie apparently started out one point better than this. Moyes started out a bit better than that. Van Gaal started out a bit better still. Makes you think. About punching a hole in the Universe […]

Season Review Innit

Season Review Innit

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

Paul’s House Puppets: David Moyes

Paul’s House Puppets: David Moyes

United 0 - 0 Chelsea

United 0 – 0 Chelsea

David Moyes must be turning in his shallow grave. At least that would explain why the top soil is moving. Which one of us decided burying him alive was the best idea? How was I to know his skin was fire-retardant? Thank god I had the genius idea to remove his teeth. And that £2.80 […]

United vs City

United vs City

    Benno (@Benglorious) Imagine if we’d got Mourinho instead of Moyes. Got that? Now imagine a giraffe, but with wheels and Quentin Tarantino’s face. Still with me? Now imagine a building so vast that it has its own capital city. What’s the name of that city? Nobody knows. I’ve forgotten my point. m Opposition summary: Manchester […]

Liverpool vs United

Liverpool Rob Now it may come as some surprise to you to read that I like to see Man U lose. Indeed, that’s the main reason I’ve watched so many Utd matches these past couple of years. I’ve probably seen more Utd games than Brett. But that’s nothing to brag about round ‘ere. At the […]

FAC: Preston NE 1 – 3 United

Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) When I signed up for this (I didnt sign up for this, I was held against my will) I didn’t realise it would extend to banter at both ends so here’s a match review which may or may not include mostly fan fiction… I arrived at Deepdale to the […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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