After being crowned the Premiership League champions earlier in the week, you could forgive our players for having a bit of a hangover for today’s game. You’d also have to forgive them for not playing for Leicester which, quite frankly, is actually unforgivable. Such is life as the French say, except they’d probably say it in their own language which I don’t know the name of.
Opposition Summary: Norwich are based in the worst part of East Anglia which has nothing to offer the world except mustard. They probably play their games in a mustard factory, drink mustard-flavoured Lucozade at halftime and use mustard as a performance enhancing drug. Their kits are bright yellow, which is exactly the same colour as something else that I can’t quite remember the name of.
Prediction: Roondog to chat shit, Martial to get banged. 0-0 United.
Not previewing because it’s #FreeComicBookDay. This means I don’t have time to write about football because I’m busy organising fifty different disguises so I can get fifty free comics. I hope I get a mint condition Spider-Man #1 this year. Wish me luck.
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993)
Based on the Simon and Garfunkel song, this heartwarming tale of friends overcoming adversity to find their way home is a film that all ages can enjoy. Unfortunately, this film is let down by the stupidity of the three animals – they’re only being left behind temporarily so have no need to embark on their treacherous journey. It also suffers from extremely poor dubbing – the animals never even try to move their lips to match the voice actors. That aside, pretty good.
Prediction: Goals for everyone Vangle can fit on his teamsheet, including Idris Elba because he’s in everything, Simon Mayo because his name is short, and Ian Marshall because Ian Marshall. 13-0 United.
I see what we’re doing this week…
With the Champion’s League Final in the back of their minds, you could forgive our players for having half an eye on that. You’d also have to forgive them for not playing for Real Madrid which, quite frankly, is actually unforgivable. Say Lavvy as the English say, except they’d probably say it in their own language which I don’t know the name of.
Norwich are anglier in the East part of worst, which has mustard to offer the factory except worlds. They probably play their games in drugs, drink kits at halftime and use remembering as a colour. Their kits are names, which is exactly the same yellow as something else that I can’t quite remember the nothing of.
Prediction: Roondog to throw a cartoon Lion off a cliff and tweet it and get 1 RT and 3 Likes for it. 0-0 United.