Martial

Everton 4 - 0 United

Everton 4 – 0 United

So glad we fucked of those preview words. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim. 2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes  you are moribund 3. Oooh check out […]

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) - (0) 0 United

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit […]

United 2 - 1 West Ham

United 2 – 1 West Ham

A return to winning ways after an apocalyptic run of losings stretching back further than any of us can remember, might just save Ole’s job.   For now.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Good to see us win in the style of Manchester United of old 2. I didn’t watch it 3. I […]

CL: United 0 - 2 PSG

CL: United 0 – 2 PSG

One for the grandkids … “Where were you when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer lost his one and only game as manager of Manchester United Football Club”? That Alexis7 hatty is going to be even more sweeter, now he’s decided to wait until the second leg. I wonder what they will make his statue out of? These […]

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

“We’ve finally got our United back!” Plastics. We remained Top Reds throughout. No need to look back through our previews and reviews over the last 3 years.  The science checks out.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Glad I’m not a Chelsea fan 2. Which team do you support, again? 3. The best one […]

FAC: Arsenal 1 - 3 United

FAC: Arsenal 1 – 3 United

Tis oft said (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA like olden days language innit. Like Quaff, or Peacock Feathers) that the FA Cup is a magical competition, where miracles abound etc etc … Alexis Sanchez. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Jesse moonwalking all over the pitch is the greatest celebration of all time and anyone who disagrees is […]

United 3 - 2 Newcastle

United 3 – 2 Newcastle

  Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]

CL: Young Boys 0 - 3 United

CL: Young Boys 0 – 3 United

United’s Champions’ League campaign got off to a start as the first game was played of United’s Champions’ League campaign at the start of the Champions’ League campaign.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Plastic pitches get stitches 2. Heard the goals were good 3. Love that Shaman song 4. Love how that a […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

    (@Benglorious) I have a friend named Lee and if someone told me to burn him it would be far less painful than watching United. I don’t really have a friend named Lee but I would burn him just for this joke. Burnley, Brighton, who gives a fuck? Currently, we couldn’t beat a twitter […]

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

    (@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. […]

Burnley 0 - 1 United

Burnley 0 – 1 United

As Anthony Martial continues to Anthony Martial his way through life, we continue to march/stumble/lol towards the top of the second place title. If only we could think of a way of getting our hands on a player like Alexis Sanchez, and getting rid of players like Mkhitaryan.   Here’s the five things we learned: […]

United 3 - 0 Stoke

United 3 – 0 Stoke

It was a welcome return to form for Paul Pogba as his two little passes ensured that both Tony V and Martial could not miss their absolute screamers from 20 yards. With Liverpool inflicting the first defeat of City’s momentous title challenge collapse, the only thing that can stand in the way of United and […]

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