United vs Swansea

With Fergie literally, metaphorically, geographically (depending where he is in the stand, and Moyes is on the pitch, I s’pose), dermatologically (that’s not possible), chronologically (that’s not possible either), cryogenically (almost works), interminably (starting to work too well), abnormally (what did I just say?), aborally (that’s more like it), and dodecahedronally (now I’m just making words up to pad again) watching over Moyes from above, it’s surprising no ones thought to mention it. Is it just that the numerous cameras pick out Fergie – who is to Moyes at pitch level just a purple dot – for the narrative purposes of the story they’re peddling? Or when we see Fergie in the stands looking in various states of indigestion, are we actually looking through David Moyes’ third eye? Not like that.

Bony’s now surely had his good old day-and-a-half for this season, and with #Supervorm, the 7ft sneeze, and the 5ft geeze still out injured we really shouldn’t lose to this lot twice. Even if De Guzman remembers he is allowed to score normal goals, or Routledge manages to drown our defenders in those beautiful deep turquoise eyes again, we should be alright. Someone tell me it’s going to be alright.

I miss the hairdryer lols. Not the original ones, or the ones that came after the original ones, or the ones that came after that even. No, fast forward a few … keep going … the ones about Moyes having a hairdryer. I don’t.

According to someone with a face, RVP has apparently been spotted training. Nothing wrong with that sentence.

Prediction: 1-0. Danny with his customary two. Moyes to finally snap and start breaking small twigs over his knee in the dugout.

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