Do you like the picture of Vangle but feel as if you’ve seen it somewhere else on something funnier that someone else actually put some real time and effort into? Well, you’re wrong. This picture is different because it’s on our website. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that we can’t get sued because they can’t try a husband and wife for the same crime. Besides, Brett drew it and I did the colouring in because I’m the only one that can keep inside the lines. Unlucky, Pablo. However, if you want to check out the possibly less funny and less efforted thing that may or may not include the same or similar drawings you can do that by clicking the red ‘here’. Not that one – that one’s black, you wally. This red ‘here’ is the one you want. No, not that one, this one here. Well done.
Opposition Summary: Tottenham are such a good team that they have their own verb to describe how they do things: “Tottenham have clawed their way into the top four by virtue of managing to Monica several important results against their main rivals” – Gary Lineker, MOTD 25/12/1963. Spurs wear white shirts and play their home games in the White Hart’s car park.
Prediction: Those pesky kids Martial and Marcus to unmask Harricane and reveal that it was him haunting the abandoned pier the whole time. Daley Blind and his freakishly large dog will return just in time for tea and medals claiming they hadn’t been running in terror, they were just looking for snacks *CANNED LAUGHTER*. 0-0 United.
Hour in, 100 euros down:
Caramello – 6 drugsmokes out of 10
OG-Roccan – 8 marijuana cigarettes out of 10
OG Water Hash – 12 gorilla panics out of 10
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Fat Batman is angry because he is old and has a bum chin. Superman is angry because Batman is fat and old and has a bum chin. They fight for a bit. Nothing else happens. Oh, Wonder Woman is in it as well but nobody knows why. That aside, pretty good.
Prediction: Pretty sure I can’t leave this place even if I wanted to. Still not seen any dams built by hamsters but sure seen a lot of beavers AMIRITE?!?! See it’s funny because etc. 2-1 United with Chadli scoring all four.
It’s all sex this and drugs that and colouring in this and pretty good, aside that, with those pair above. One day life is gonna punch them in the face so hard, that their face is gonna be like a face with a life-shaped-fist bruise on it. And who are they gonna come crying to?! “Oh, boss I’ve got this face, like a face with a life-shaped-fist bruise on it”, and I’ll be all like, “Tell it to your face”. And they’ll be all like, “Does this actually go anywhere, or are you just padding with nonsense, because you have absolutely nothing to say, and you’re a bit tired?” That’ll learn ‘em.
I went to watch a football play irl yesterday: the male voice choir ensemble, who greeted guests, informed us – in song form – that ‘Victoria Beckham’s beaver dreams of Nicky Weaver’, which was surprising to hear, but the professional manner of the delivery led me to conclude that this was without question a well researched fact. The rest of the choral numbers, that accompanied the main performance, were more visceral; at least I think that’s the word I’m looking for. The solo performers amongst the “audience”, were a delight; I particularly enjoyed the vignette where “Man in Green Coat” proposed a fist fight with “female steward”. The build in tension between “Rival Fans” was nothing short of inspired. When the ‘Stewards’ and ‘Police’, played expertly imo, began dancing with the “crowd”, I must say I was enjoying it all so much that I had to leave.
Prediction: Would write more but got work innit. It’s not like I’ve had a week to do this or anything. 0-0 United.