Burnley vs. United

Pogtations
(@Benglorious)

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The last time we played Burnley we had more shots than World War II but couldn’t find the net. I think that makes us Italy in this metaphor, but without the changing teams halfway through because we were losing.
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Prediction: Rashford to continue his rise to glory by scoring for the third successive game and dedicating it to Old Man Zlat. 0-0 United.

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2017-02-10 23.14.32 (@tom_mcghee)

Remember when Joey met Zlatan in France and he made that big nose gesture? Was really hoping today was the day Ibra was gonna murder him up real nice.  Think we can all agree that’s not going to happen and start looking at alternatives (I have been working on a Wild Wild wicky Wild West-esque giant mechanical spider but it’s early days yet, collateral damage would be catastrophic).

There is no film review this week as I have been just so much politics. Classic ruddy politics.

 

Prediction: Politics! Everywhere! Fierce opinions! Loud. Noises. 5-0 United, Keane to score a hat-trick of OGs  (own goals) which will transfer next season to AG (actual goals) when we re-sign him for 10 times what we sold him for which is just good business. Nasri with customary Brace after replacing Rooney (lol, remember him?)

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(@bifurcated_utd)

I apologise to our reader for being such a let-down after the two real heroes saved the day again…

If my game on FIFA ’17 last night is anything to go by, then we’re going to win 0-3, with Roondawg scoring two from the bench. Let’s just hope Bristol City turn up, and not Burnley. And that Burnley (Bristol City) have a broken controller that defaults right every time a player collects the ball, making it easy to win possession back. And that Burnley (Bristol City) have never played FIFA ’17 before. And that Burnley (Bristol City) are drunk. And it’s 3am in the morning. And Burnley’s (Bristol City’s) girlfriend is giving them a hard time for not socialising at the house party, and instead playing FIFA ’17 with the old bald guy with no friends in the corner.

Prediction: An attacking performance of the like that no human eye has witnessed since eyes began; free from the shackles of Zlatan’s tyrannical reign of terror. 0-0 United.

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