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Southampton vs United

Southampton vs United

(@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits. Seriously:  why do so many teams have the same kits? I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt. Southampton could easily […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

(@Benglorious) m The last time we played Burnley we had more shots than World War II but couldn’t find the net. I think that makes us Italy in this metaphor, but without the changing teams halfway through because we were losing. m Prediction: Rashford to continue his rise to glory by scoring for the third successive […]

EFLC: United vs. West Ham

EFLC: United vs. West Ham

 (@Benglorious) Coming out the slums, it’s the hoodlums. I’m pulling my gat out on all you bums. So bring it on when you want to come fight this outlaw, kicking like Billy Ray Cypress Hill. Chill, I’ll bust that grill, grab my gat and load up the steel. And if you want to get drastic […]

Swansea vs. United

Swansea vs. United

 (@Benglorious) Jose has a lot to do to change United’s fortunes after suffering his eighty-ninth consecutive defeat earlier in the week. Another forty defeats or so and he may have to seriously start worrying about his job, particularly as David Moyes has won more games than him and is also available without a notice period […]

FAC: United vs. West Ham

FAC: United vs. West Ham

   Benno (@Benglorious) Fantastic scenes as I probably won’t be watching the match due to me going to Mexico to catch the Zika virus. May still be able to watch it with a tiny head, but scientists are unclear at this point in time. Opposition Summary: The yellow fever mosquito (Aedes Aegypti) can be recognized by white […]

United vs City

United vs City

    Benno (@Benglorious) Imagine if we’d got Mourinho instead of Moyes. Got that? Now imagine a giraffe, but with wheels and Quentin Tarantino’s face. Still with me? Now imagine a building so vast that it has its own capital city. What’s the name of that city? Nobody knows. I’ve forgotten my point. m Opposition summary: Manchester […]

United vs Liverpool

United vs Liverpool

z z  Benno (@Benglorious) Dave signs a new contract after flirting with another team and the world goes nuts, yet Rooney scores fifty goals against San Marino and he’s a fraud. A fake footballer’s shirt is exhibited in a museum to show the dangers of becoming a parody of yourself and one person cares, yet a […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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