United vs Newcastle

Tom (@Tom_McGhee):

Crisis averted, I’m back (it can’t have escaped anyone’s notice that our season has dipped dramatically since I went on sabbatical). I’ll be honest, I was hoping that my return would coincide with a decisive victory against Everton but since that’s clearly not going to happen, it might as well be now*.

Anyways, what can we expect from this game? Personally, I’m hoping we can try some more of that passing lark we managed in Germany – I’m no coach but I’ve noticed that keeping the ball and moving it forward really improves our chances of scoring –  whilst crosses that beat the first man would also be a nice touch. I’m deliberately not mentioning Kagawa due to a wish to avoid actual physical war (boy, is HE a touchy subject – its like Carrick all over again). Maybe play our World Class RB, see how that goes; maybe try to avoid conceding late….I’m grasping at straws I know.

Newcastle of course come into this in far better shape – I dont need to prove that with statistics/results/facts because Alan Pardew’s won MOTM – and although in football terms they’re still the underdog, we still have a midfield with Tom Cleverley and Fellaini in it. On the plus side, it is at home. Oh….

Fortunately, none of this really matters because of late I’ve realised that this United is very much the Galatic Senate from Star Wars – a glorious reminder of a great age, on a a downward slide into a brutal Galatic Empire (See: City, Chelsea) “But Tom” I hear you cry, “You said this doesn’t matter!” – Calm yourselves; what happened AFTER the Emperor took over? BOOM – Rebel Alliance, Return of the Jedi (Januzaj), fall of Evil, Han, Chewie, Luke, Lando and Leia all go home for tea and medals. We just have to hope it doesn’t take 20 years (lazy Lucas, lazy).

Prediction: United 2 – 1 Newcastle. It could be literally anything to anyone, I just cant bring myself to be that pessimistic.

*No-one’s online for GTA. Blame them. I have a list of their names if needed.

.

Brett:

Is there such a thing as ‘The Curse of the Manager of the Month Award’?! NO THERE ISN’T! It was a test. You passed the test – but barely. Feel free to read on, but remember I’ve got my eye on you…

Newcastle are like a team who you think you like until you actually get down to thinking about why you like them, and then you’re all like man why did I think I like them again?, and then you’re all like yeah that was weird of me to think I liked them. You don’t exactly dislike them though, either. Anyway, enough about them…

Adnan and Danny are going to show them what’s what, what. What?!

Fellaini said he wanted to be a defensive midfielder. Fellaini said that defensive midfielder was his favourite position. Fellaini has the defensive midfield instincts of a cashew nut with Jack Nicholson for a face. Exactly. Fellaini has never been a defensive midfielder. Still fully expect him to be brilliant though.

With Wayne “style over substance and substance over style, without being either substantially stylish or stylishly substantial enough” Rooney suspended we’ll have to rely on things like a strong team ethic and selflessness to get us through. Good luck with that.

There’s a Joe Kinnear somewhere.

Prediction: 2 – 1. Danny with his customary two. Alan Pardew to remove his Alan Pardew mask to reveal he was Alan Pardew all along.

Comments are closed.

More 'Predictions'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

More 'Pregame'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

Archive