@Benglorious) I’m also going to leave this one to you B-man. Big kisses. P.s put that Klopp picture as the preview header today. You’re so talented. Extra kisses. Prediction: I love Brett more than Tom. m (@tom_mcghee) I’m going to leave this one to you B-dawg. You’re the best. I’ve always said that. Brett […]
Autumn is upon us, so, it should come as no surprise that The Tree is performing so strongly. Let’s hope it doesn’t last for three months. Miss hating him with the same venom that we hate each other tbh. R*zero*y H*zero*dgs*zero*n, more like !! L*zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero*l !! Here’s 5 things we have observed from our […]
We haven’t won the English Premier League on the first day of the season since that great day back in 1966! All the squad can now look forward to taking a well deserved tour of all them countries who haven’t bought enough shirts and that, until next August. Here’s 5 things we learnt/ed: 1. Winning […]
Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. […]
Another game and another drawing to death of the opposition. And football. M0-0urinho more like. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. 0-0 is half as good as 1-1. 2. See 3 and 4 for Tom’s thoughts on Fellaini. 3. More like Maro can you leave our football club Fellaini !! 4. But seriously he is […]
Captain. Leader. Legend. Haterz gonna hate, but Fella’s gonna regulate! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Goals are good.
(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be […]
United’s tactics have come under intense scrutiny after their second half display saw them revert to a flat back eleven. For those of you who are new to Association Football, a flat back eleven is kind of like a flat back twelve but without the extra character bought in on the heist and without the […]
This game will be forever remembered for something. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it but got 7 trophies on Tomb Raider instead. 2. Hope this helps. 3. Like 1 but with another game and less trophies. 4. Like 1 and 3 but with a life.
Our exclusive fan poll after the game revealed that, of the 665 billion United fans around the world, over 70% would rather eat their own death than watch the second leg of this game. In other news, our Kickstarter to have this game struck from the records has been flagged by the financial ombudsman, as […]
At Bifurcated we have been lobbying for a long time with the footballerers: it’s such a shame these results aren’t recorded in a table or league format, because by my calculations we’d be sitting proud in 6th place, and the whole world would be saying something about it every day of the week, and every […]
I can’t remember the last time I saw a vitally important overhead kick scored with such grace. Oh no wait! … of course, there was the Berba one. I’m sure we’ll see plenty more of that from Basti over the next decade or so, and hopefully beyond. If we’d scored more, the scoreline would have […]