Our internet friends are always welcome to share their ‘pre’ and ‘post match’ thoughts with us; if you want to share, get in touch! You can still enjoy our nonsensical, confusing, punctuation buffets, below their proper good ones…
Roll up! Roll up! It’s the unofficial Manchester United vs. Chelsea match preview!
I don’t know about you, but United vs. Chelsea is one of my favourite fixtures; and with Manchester City losing to Cardiff yesterday, a United win could give Moyes and his band of merry boys an advantage over their two closest rivals.
On paper, Chelsea win every time. But football isn’t played on paper, it’s played on a mix of artificial fibres intertwined with natural grass. Chelsea are favourites to win the league, and it’s obvious why. A team boasting the likes of Mata, Oscar, Hazard, Lukaku and *ahem* Torres *giggles* is always going to be considered favourites. However, United have proven that they can beat any team, regardless of their players. (City, I’m looking at you.)
I fully expect Manchester United to start the human wrecking ball, AKA Phil Jones in defence. Jones has proven that he is one of the best man markers in the Premier League, so I expect to see him closely tailing one of Mata/Hazard/Oscar depending on who ‘The Happy One’ starts. Similarly, I think Valencia is a shoe in for this game. Most times Valencia plays against Cole he makes him look sillier than Rafa Benitez wearing dungarees, riding a unicycle. With Hernandez still seemingly unfit, Robin van Persie looks set to start up front, which is good news as he scores when he wants. Fans will be praying for Kagawa through the middle, with Welbeck possibly playing on the wing.
Wayne Rooney: I expect all pre and post game talk to be centred around Wayne Rooney so I’ll keep it short and sweet, like myself. I would be surprised if Rooney didn’t play, however I don’t think he’ll play a full game. An appearance from the bench, Chicha style, looks most likely. Carrick and Evra are sure starters. The only positions that I’m not sure on are RB, CM (probably Cleverley) or CB (hopefully that lad who comes from Serbia).
One thing is for sure, it’ll definitely be an exciting, heated game. OPTA STAT: There hasn’t been a 0-0 draw at Old Trafford since 1066, so I’m predicting goals galore, with either team winning 2-1. With the attacking prowess of Chelsea, and the RvPness of United, it should be a goal filled game.
Prediction: Whether Chelsea win or lose, Mourinho will make some backhanded comment aimed at Rooney and/or Moyes. RvP will score, obviously. Rooney will score the winner and take off his shirt to reveal ‘cham21ons’ shaved into his chest hair.
For this, the first of the new season’s big games, it seems quite likely we’ll witness a match of caution and patience rather than dramatic spectacle. That said, there are a few things we can be sure of.
I expect both teams to field the more traditional eleven players and that these players will be distinguishable by different uniforms (or “kits”). Almost guaranteed that both teams will play in some kind of formation, the purpose of which will be to allow “tactics”, although it seems highly likely that the team scoring the most goals will win. Chances of Godzilla attacks remain at a minimum but in a game with such global appeal, an impromptu appearance by the nuclear lizard can’t be totally ruled out.
Prediction: United to win 2-1 after Torres missed from 6yrds – again – and Rooney’s deliberate OG is ruled out for being ‘in bad taste’.
I can’t decide whether I really want to talk about Michael Carrick, in relation to this game, or if I’m just crowbarring in his name so that I can show off that photo at the top of the post, that I took last week. Let’s see…
The opening da(nn)y of the season, for us, was good for David Moyes and pretty good for the rest of us. We were slightly narrower than perhaps we’re used to, but until we’re a few games in (and until we’ve stuck a fork in all the transfer lols) and patterns and shapes and that have emerged, then guessing patterns and shapes and that is, I think, a futile exercise – though I can only speak for myself.
Off the back of his Google + appearance, Danny will be feeling great and so fully expect him to score a minimum of two amazing goals. Interesting to see what the ‘first choice’ centre-back pairing will be and who Moyes trusts in the middle of midfield.
Chelsea are good.
I was going to say something about proximal abandonment and Rooney.
Prediction: United to win 4-3. Danny with his customary two, Evra and Rooney – just because. Someone’ll score for them. I don’t know any Chelsea players. Wait … Mata!! Yep, Mata. Mata will score a hat-trick! All three! We should sign him up.
p.s I didn’t mention Carrick (that doesn’t count), so it WAS all about showing off that photo.