Phil Jones

West Ham vs. United

West Ham vs. United

  (@Benglorious) I ain’t. Prediction: I ain’t. m  (@tom_mcghee) You should see my fucking Instagram. Also i just saw an interview where Liverpool keeper Alison is described as ‘Liverpool’s lean, erect, handsome finger man’ and I want to know who stole my book of homoerotic poems to Benno. Prediction: Phil Jones. 3-2 West Ham, Barrels rolled out […]

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

Newcastle 1 - 0 United

Newcastle 1 – 0 United

Phil Jones and Chris Smalling are the best. BEST. ABSO BEST. In a parallel Universe Jose got his wish and the game is still being played. It’s currently 9087 – 0. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I didn’t watch the game because I wasn’t watching it. 2. My new jam is Taken The Series. […]

Tottenham Hotspurs 2 - 0 United

Tottenham Hotspurs 2 – 0 United

<—- Match Summary. Here’s 5 things we learned from the “match”: 1. Fuck off. 2. Some fans think Jose is more to blame than Phil Jones for Phil Jones’ og. It has kept me awake at nights. 3. Weird when we win we’re still shit but any time anyone beats us we’re the best scalp […]

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

m m (@Benglorious) Celta Vigo are not a team United should be taking lightly this evening. After all, this IS the business end of the elite Europa competition-that-isn’t-for-the-best-clubs-in-Europe-but-still-gives-us-annoying-midweek-games-that-make-us-draw-all-our-important-matches-but-at least-if-we-do-win-the-whole-thing-it-does-mean-that-we’re-better-than-Liverpool League. Prediction: Another debut goal for Rashford and yet another hat-trick for Ronaldo as the Reds cruise to an easy victory. 0-0 United m m  (@tom_mcghee) […]

The Radiohead: Phil Jones

The Radiohead: Phil Jones

United vs. WBA

United vs. WBA

(@Benglorious) It’s been so long since I watched any football that wasn’t full of broken legs and weird statues that I’m actually looking forward to watching the game today. Any spare tickets? I also need a lift and accommodation. And spending money. www.patreon.com/bifurcated m m Prediction: With Jones out, injured by Smalling, and Smalling out, […]

EL: Rostov 1 - 1 United

EL: Rostov 1 – 1 United

Our exclusive fan poll after the game revealed that, of the 665 billion United fans around the world, over 70% would rather eat their own death than watch the second leg of this game. In other news, our Kickstarter to have this game struck from the records has been flagged by the financial ombudsman, as […]

S.Tarship: Rojo-Jones

S.Tarship: Rojo-Jones

LC: Northampton vs. United

LC: Northampton vs. United

  m  FBA-Nominated Maverick (@Benglorious) The last time we played Northampton we actually had good players who were proven goalscorers for United – Diego Forlan and Mikaël Silvestre both netted that day. Those were the good times. Nowadays, we’re not even sure we can beat a team that is five hundred places below us in the league […]

T. Unlimited: Phil Jones

T. Unlimited: Phil Jones

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted

Archive