Mata

United 3 - 2 Newcastle

United 3 – 2 Newcastle

  Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

United 1 - 0 Watford

United 1 – 0 Watford

Goodbye Michael Carrick, you were a wonderful … I’m gonna say … midfielder man?!   WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE RUDDY GAMwhat? FA Cup what? FFS.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it on a stream or even the highlights that’s how little I care now. 2. Agents of SHIELD was lovely, Fitz & […]

FAC: Huddersfield 0 - 2 United

FAC: Huddersfield 0 – 2 United

As the mighty Red Army from Manchester goes marching on to Wemberleeeeee gloreeeeee in spite of VAR and its fascist regime of hate and bigotry. I forgot my point. <—–That picture actually matches the narrative. Who’d have thought.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Lukaku is the greatest striker in the history of the […]

Leicester 2 - 2 United

Leicester 2 – 2 United

MataLand. Like Matalan. But better. Probably less sales at Christmas. Here’s 5 learns: 1. Pogba’s shooting from distance was a highlight imho. 2. Missing all those chances was silly. 3. I enjoyed the parts of the game where it looked like we might win it. 4. Happy Christmas Cunts. 5. Right Backatcha. 6. Did I […]

United 4 (FOUR) - 0 Crystal Palace

United 4 (FOUR) – 0 Crystal Palace

Autumn is upon us, so, it should come as no surprise that The Tree is performing so strongly. Let’s hope it doesn’t last for three months. Miss hating him with the same venom that we hate each other tbh. R*zero*y H*zero*dgs*zero*n, more like !! L*zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero*l !!   Here’s 5 things we have observed from our […]

B.Zone: Mata

B.Zone: Mata

EL: United (2) 1 - 0 (1) Rostov

EL: United (2) 1 – 0 (1) Rostov

This game will be forever remembered for something.         Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it but got 7 trophies on Tomb Raider instead. 2. Hope this helps. 3. Like 1 but with another game and less trophies. 4. Like 1 and 3 but with a life.

United 2 - 0 Watford

United 2 – 0 Watford

For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And […]

Leicester 0 - 3 United

Leicester 0 – 3 United

Leicester City are Champions. We beat the Champions. We stay 6th. When did this conspiracy start? Where did it start? How did it start? Where will it end? When will it end? How will it end? Is that enough words for hot content? One more word makes it a round 100 words. Perfect.   Here’s […]

EFLC Semi Final First Leg: United 2 - 0 Hull

EFLC Semi Final First Leg: United 2 – 0 Hull

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEEEEEEVE US… WE’RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE cup semi final first leg. Lol @ Loserpool.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. That Fellaini/Keane/Lily Allen gag was pretty good. 2. For you. 3. Winning is good, we should […]

EL: United 4 - 0 Feyenoord

EL: United 4 – 0 Feyenoord

When Jose Mourinho took the bold decision to throw £30m European Player of the Year 2015/16 Henrikh Mkhitaryan into the starting XI against one of Europe’s averagest clubs, in one of the meaninglessest competitions, few could have envisaged winning the Champions League, F.A Cup and English Premier League Treble, on the very same night!! GGMU!!!! […]

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