It’s not just Christmas for us fans, NO! It’s also the Christmas party season for those little adorable angels employed by our favourite Premier League clubs!

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To get you feeling all snuggly warm and Christmassy, here’s a special rendition of a Christmas classic sung by two ex-Manchester United players whose on field partnership was so imbued with the true meaning of Christmas that they shared everything off the field too!

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Here’s the fairytale of a Christmas party gone by!

Unfortunately, for legal reasons we are unable to reveal the indentities of the two ex-Manchester United players, the details of their movements on that night or the identities of the other people(s) involved.

We’ve also taken the added precaution of removing any obscene language … well, it’s Christmas, you have to think of the children!

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It was Christmas Eve (name removed on legal advice),
In the (venue removed on legal advice)
(name removed on legal advice) said to me, won’t see (name removed on legal advice).
And then (profanity removed on legal advice) a (profanity removed on legal advice).

The (description of sexual act removed on legal advice),
I turned my (body part removed on legal advice) away,
And dreamed about (profanity removed on legal advice)!

Got on a (profanity removed on legal advice),
Came in (sexual act removed on legal advice),
I’ve got a (body part removed on legal advice).

This (body part removed on legal advice) for (name removed on legal advice) and (name removed on legal advice)!
So happy Christmas,
I love (sexual act removed on legal advice).
I can see a (body part removed on legal advice),
When all our (body parts removed on legal advice) come (sexual act removed on legal advice).

They’ve got (body part removed on legal advice)
big as (name removed on legal advice),
They’ve got (body part removed on legal advice)
of (profanity removed on legal advice).

But the (body part removed on legal advice) goes right through (name removed on legal advice),
It’s no place for the (sexual act removed on legal advice).
When you first took my (body part removed on legal advice),
on a cold Christmas Eve,

You promised me
(sexual act removed on legal advice)
was waiting for me!

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

You were (sexual act removed on legal advice)!

(profanity removed on legal advice) of (place name removed on legal advice) City!

When the (profanity removed on legal advice) finished (sexual act removed on legal advice), (names removed on legal advice) howled out for more!

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

(name removed on legal advice) was swinging,
All (profanity removed on legal advice) they were singing.

We (sexual act removed on legal advice),
Then (sexual act removed on legal advice) through the night!

The boys of the (company name removed on legal advice)
Were (sexual act removed on legal advice)!

And the (profanity removed on legal advice) were (sexual act removed on legal advice) Christmas day.

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

You’re a (sexual act removed on legal advice)!
You’re a (sexual act removed on legal advice)!

You’re an old (sexual act removed on legal advice),
Lying there almost (sexual act removed on legal advice) on (name removed on legal advice) in that bed!

You (sexual act removed on legal advice), you (sexual act removed on legal advice),
you cheap lousy (sexual act removed on legal advice)
Happy Christmas (profanity removed on legal advice)
I (sexual act removed on legal advice) it’s our (name removed on legal advice).

The boys of the(company name removed on legal advice) were (sexual act removed on legal advice)!

And the (profanity removed on legal advice) were (sexual act removed on legal advice) Christmas day!

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

I could have (sexual act removed on legal advice) someone!

Well so could (name removed on legal advice)!
You took my (profanity removed on legal advice) from me,
When I first (sexual act removed on legal advice) you.

I kept them (profanity removed on legal advice),
I (sexual act removed on legal advice) them with my (body part removed on legal advice),
Can’t (sexual act removed on legal advice) all alone,
I’ve (sexual act removed on legal advice) you!