CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United
Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit […]
Tottenham 0 – 1 United
So, Ole passed the test. Looking forward to him having to pass the next tests, and then still not getting the job at the end of the season having won the Champions League and secured a top 4 position. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dave’s feet are actually hands 2. Don’t research that 3. […]
West Ham 0 – 0 United
JFC, STILL ONE MORE GAME TO GO! KILL ME! NOW! PLEASE! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Football is a great game. I love it so much. 2. It is the greatest game and I love it. 3. More like Mark IG-Noble !! 4. More like IDGI-Noble !! 5. I love football more than all […]
United 1 – 2 City
Now we’re world famous across all 3 continents, after being nominated for the FBAs, we have no time to watch this shit – what with all the after-dinner mints, meating and grating, and opining of Supermarkets. Oooh, ruddy Tescos. Tesno more like. Our PA told us to say lol @ Bravo’s footwork and his ability […]
Season Review Innit
*Hilarious introduction* @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]
FAC: Everton 1 – 2 United
That was fun. That game had everything. Apart from everything that it didn’t. Give Dave and Tony M everyone elses’ wages. Apart from all the people who have nothing to do with this professional football club. Lol @ professional. Five things we learned: 1. I liked it when Rooney ran into the […]
Spurs 3 – 0 United
So, we managed to stop Hurricane scoring. We also managed to not allow them to score for more minutes of the game than they scored in. We also managed to keep one team from scoring all game. We also managed to get on the telly. What does Vangle have to do to convince you fickle, […]
EL: FC Mitdjd…Midtje .. them 2 – 1 United
Good injuries, injuries. Here’s 5 things we learned and already shared via Twitters, like mavericks from the good old day of yesterillium*: *Warning: These opinions are contagious, as in they took some contagious to come up with them.
United 0 – 0 Chelsea
David Moyes must be turning in his shallow grave. At least that would explain why the top soil is moving. Which one of us decided burying him alive was the best idea? How was I to know his skin was fire-retardant? Thank god I had the genius idea to remove his teeth. And that £2.80 […]