Ashley Young

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) - (0) 0 United

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit […]

United 4 - 1 Fulham

United 4 – 1 Fulham

Not taking any credit for this but my stream was perfect throughout the game, so…   Here’s 5 things we learned as United continued on their voyage of discovering what it feels like to finish 6th in the Premier League table: 1. It is clear now from that one game that Paul Pogba is a […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

United 1 - 0 Brighton

United 1 – 0 Brighton

1. and still hasn’t.

United 1 - 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

United 1 – 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

Geno love being able to use ‘Legman’ as header picture: Benno’s best* a joke. Ashley Young owned Deli Alli, apparently. Deli Alli can only dream of being as good as Ashley Young one day. Another cracker! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Returning to boyhood haunts is bittersweet at best ie The Prom = sweet, […]

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 - 4 (FOUR) United

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 – 4 (FOUR) United

5 things innit: 1. Had a look and nobody had done owt so i didn’t either. Cool story bro. 2. Same. 3. Oh.

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 - 1 United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 – 1 United

Yung Rash = Paul Daniels. Pretty smalltime of Jose Mourinho to call us out on international TV for never actually managing to highlight 5 things we’ve learned imho. Here’s 5 things we learned, just for Jose: 1. Marcus Rashford is the future of everything (Orange lied to us). 2. Lovely touch having the A-Team playing […]

LC: United 0 – 0 Middlesborough (1-3 pens)

With Halloween just around the corner, we’re giving this analysis an egg theme… An egg each took the match into Added Egg Time and then eggsactly what happened next has been destroyed in the fire. No doubt, Capper Roo set the eggsample, and Michael ‘The Michael Carrick’ Carrick, and Ashley ‘The Elder’ Young did the […]

Hull vs United

Hull vs United

m  Benno (@Benglorious) Here we are again:  La pièce de résistance.  Così fan tutte.  Bodas de sangre.  Céad míle fáilte.  Vorsprung durch technik.  The meanings of all these phrases were lost with the destruction of Atlantis, but they still evoke feelings and stuff, sometimes towards football.  It’s been a long season, and it’s one I’m definitely […]

United vs Arsenal

m  Benno (@Benglorious) In lieu of a preview this week, I’m instead going to pay my respects to the best central midfielder the Premiership League has ever seen if you don’t count Keane, Scholes, Lampard, Vieira and Batty.  The platitudes have been coming thick and fast for Gerrard all week, so I thought I’d show […]

United 4 – 2 City

Thought for the day:

FAC: United 1 - 2 Arsenal

FAC: United 1 – 2 Arsenal

Nothing obliterates the myth that modern footballers “do their homework” in state of the art video suites more, than Ashley Young’s trick still beating any amount of full backs than is reasonable. They’re playing Daley Thompson on their Sinclair Spectrums, like the rest of us. p.s Down with the return of Ashley Young’s tendrils and […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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