Southampton 0 – 0 United

We asked Jose Mourinho to comment on the last 6 years of Bifurcated, and he had this to say: The intensity is there. Which is just what I ask for. I could not ask for more. 

Here’s 5 things we learned when the football interrupted our 90 minutes of doing other things to ease the pain i.e glassing ourselves with glass made from sharks:

1. Football is rubbish

2. There’s these cunts on GTA that seem able to withstand loads of bullets but can kill you in like 2 shots. And he was only doing it because I blew up his helicopter.

3. Jake threw a party at a conference because the Buffalo PD got arrested for corruption

4. Holt loves thermometers

5. STEVE HOLT

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