Luke Shaw

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review

Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno: It doesn’t matter what shape the wheel is, it matters who’s at said wheel and […]

United vs. Cardiff

United vs. Cardiff

  (@Benglorious) At least when this game is over we can look forward to not hearing about United until next season. Not one single word about how bad the players have been. Nothing about how our rivals have surpassed us easily. Nothing about potential transfers, both in and out. It’s going to be glorious. Prediction: Goals […]

CL: United 0 - 1 Barcelona

CL: United 0 – 1 Barcelona

With the treble very much still on, Ole’s clearly briefed the team to save all the goals for when it really matters. At least we can look forward to more possession in the home leg next week. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Juve fans are not good. 2. Hanna likes the ‘bird pigeons’ bahaha […]

United 2 - 1 Leicester

United 2 – 1 Leicester

CHAMPIONEEEES!! CHAMPIONEEEES!!! OLAY!! OLAY!! OLAY!!   That’s right … Mushrooms and Skin Cream. Mushrooms and Skin Cream.   Here’s 5 things we learned (we actually learned 6 things but Brett’s 6th thing was diss on the NHS, so, he is a “bad” “guy”): 1. Winning is definitely better than losing. 2. Ladies and gentleman we […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

(@Benglorious) I am on holiday so suck your disappointment right on its dick. Prediction: Me to ruin my holiday for me (I’m obvs on holiday alone cos me) by constantly checking my phone to see what great a jokes Brett is tweeting tonight. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) What words? Are we playing tonight? On a […]

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

(@Benglorious) Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over […]

United 1 - 1 Everton

United 1 – 1 Everton

The Invincibles can bite our bangers as we continue our incredible run, drawing with everything in our path like a machine made of draws. We’re like the Ikea of football: *work on the punchline for this a joke for next week. Something, something Zlatan (Swedish), something, something drawers.* Here’s 5 things we learned about the […]

United vs. Everton

United vs. Everton

(@Benglorious) I’m sure we played yesterday, if you can call it playing lol. Yeah, Brett, I stole your joke – that’s how bad things are. m Prediction: Goals for Lukaku and Big Dunc. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) David Moyes sure does it bad. m Aliens (1986) James Cameron recreates Avatar (2009) shot-for-shot but before that and with […]

EL: Fenerbahce 2 - 1 United

EL: Fenerbahce 2 – 1 United

Jose Moruinho more like. That’s actually pretty good. For us. You can’t have that one. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from the fact we are pretty good at mixy-letter-word jokes: 1. I have no idea what is going on at United but it is actually bad. 2. Luke Shaw really needs to hit the […]

EL: United vs. Zorya

EL: United vs. Zorya

   ICBM-nominated for beating Brett at Stratego (@Benglorious) Zorya is not a thing. Even though I’ve now heard of it, it’s still not a thing. Apropos of almost nothing (the Bifurcated motto), here’s some things that start with ‘z’ that actually are things: Zebra (shit horse) Zombie (shit person) Zodiac (shit goats and shit) Zelda (shit […]

T. That: Shaw

T. That: Shaw

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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