United 1-1 Chelsea

If you missed Tom and Benno’s MBMing then here’s a chance to undo what you didn’t donedo:

Tomfurcated UniBen’s Minute-Bi-Minute Real-Time Matchday Adventure

If any mainstream newspapers want to change their prescribed narrative and/or agenda to appeal to a niche* demographic of unpopular Twitter users – and if not, why not? – then I can offer you this headline at a knockdown price: ‘Treesy does it!!’** Yeah, I know it’s rubbish, but people in paper houses shouldn’t throw Joss Stones.

No point you having this next one though, cos I’ve already tweeted it and probably got a squillion RTs and FAVs…

Roots Manoeuvre:

 

*Not sure what flavour niche you prefer, you can get a straighforwad cheese and onion one down the corner shop for £1.09.***

**You’d probably have to save it now until the next time Fellaini plays averagely well. You’ll need to cut it in half to see how old it is and when it’s passed its use by date.

***That’s my corner, not your corner.****

****Unless your corner is my corner.*****

*****Get your own corner.

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