Van Gaal

United 1 - 1 West Ham

United 1 – 1 West Ham

I’m not Hashtag Mourinho Out but imagine if that’s how you we started a serious adult sentence. Like your Da. Fergie apparently started out one point better than this. Moyes started out a bit better than that. Van Gaal started out a bit better still. Makes you think. About punching a hole in the Universe […]

Wolfsburg 3 – 2 United

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA (1/-1)   Here’s five things we learned from Europa League qualification: Swan) We couldn’t keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Twit twoo) Louis van Gaal is a fraud. When I mispronounce stuff I just get laughed at but he seems to have made it into a whole career. Tree-creeper) The whole […]

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

  Benno (@Benglorious) Playing a game in the Championship League of Europe is always good. Playing in all the games in the Championship League of Europe is even gooder, especially if you win the last one. That’s when you get a nice trophy and all the other teams have to bow when they see you and […]

United 0 - 0 Newcastle

United 0 – 0 Newcastle

What a game. I didn’t see it.

Crystal Palace 1 - 2 United

Crystal Palace 1 – 2 United

Jaun Direction. It doesn’t Mata. Mata-Ratsea. Mata-lan(d). Groot. Tree. etc.   Thought for the Day: Jaun Direction. It doesn’t Mata. Mata-Ratsea. Mata-lan(d). Groot. Tree. etc.

Sherwood Takes Charge

Tim Sherwood walked into the dressing room. Louis van Gaal’s reign had been a disaster, with United failing to make the Champions League, or even the Europa League. There had been an outcry among the papers, and, in their infinite wisdom, Ed Woodward and the Glazer family had decided a domestic manager was the best option. Sherwood’s run […]

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

Benno (@Benglorious) It’s all excitement and joy today in Bifurcated Towers as myself and Tom (the guy with the preview below mine that you always skip over to get to Brett’s little piece of insanity) are actually visiting the Theatre of Dreams in actual real life and stuff.  Apparently, the previews we write are for […]

FAC: Cambridge 0 - 0 United

FAC: Cambridge 0 – 0 United

Didn’t see it. I did hear Vangle saying everything was against us. Which sounds pretty unfair, and makes coming away with a draw a very sound result. I’ve just made a list of all the things I know (below) and even if it was only these things that were against us it would be especially […]



United 3 - 1 Newcastle

United 3 – 1 Newcastle


United vs Liverpool

United vs Liverpool

Tom (@Tom_McGhee): I’ve never even heard of Liverpool. Having read Brian’s “work”, I’m none the wiser (although the He-Man element piqued my interest long enough to finish reading. Well done Bob) United 33 – 26 Liverpool. So many goals. Benno (@Benglorious): I’m currently editing my post I wrote days ago because I’m not happy with […]

Soton vs United

Soton vs United

Tom (@Tom_McGhee): Having received a record number of complaints last week (Paul, Paul’s Dad) about how the previews have “lost their way”, this week will be a comprehensive analysis of both Southampton and United’s seasons so far. It won’t, obviously, but since only Paul (and Paul’s Dad) are still reading at this point, at least […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...