March 2016

Michael Adrian Carrick

Michael Adrian Carrick

I spent at least all of the Champions League Final in 2009 sat in my local acting out, in glorious Technicolor, a one man travelling Father Ted tribute act. A brief dalliance as Dougal as I stared blankly into the giant screen abyss of an unfathomable future of failure, interrupted briefly by my faultless Ted, […]

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

There was a time, namely last season and the 5 seasons prior, when every match we played against Chelsea made my stomach retreat somewhere into my left leg, making me unsteady for 24 hours before kickoff. If we won, my stomach was restored and I could eat again. If we lost, which seemed to always […]

Blackburn 1 – 2 United

With both us and Blackburn needing 1 point from their final two games (Fergie reckons Blackburn can survive with 1) this match is going to be tricky, particularly as the Ewood park team have fellow bottom-dwellers Wolves in their last game of the season and may fancy their chances against a United team already beginning […]

You'll never win anything with [Arsene's] kids

You’ll never win anything with [Arsene’s] kids

Arsenal’s ability to implode this season has been dissected all over the world of football, so I won’t go into gory details. We all know the score (4-4). But here at Bifurcated, where smugness is the order of the day, we’re are offering dinner for 1 for your thoughts on what Arsenal are currently getting […]

I am a Biased Pervert

I am a Biased Pervert

I am a Biased Pervert. Okay, so far off to a bad start. I am perhaps in need of a crash course in the science of self–enunciation, but please bear with me. I intend to ingratiate myself with you in the future and for this I will mostly be using the other distinguishing characteristics I […]

Escape To Victory (1981)

Escape To Victory (1981)

More racist stereotypes than you can fit into a Jim Davison comedy sketch. More ham  than you can fit into a really big and expertly vacuum packed bag of ham. More terribleness than you’ll find in a terrible convention held in Terrible town by Terry Terrible of Terribleton. Notable for being: the film, and performance […]

A strange Phelan?

A strange Phelan?

Sir Alex’s assistants during the preceeding years of success have all at least on the surface appeared charismatic and knowledgable. They conducted themselves in a professional manner in the most part that didn’t suggest they were someones awkward Step-Uncle who has been dropped off at a party that he hadn’t really been properly invited to. […]

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