Players

A Seven Aside

A Seven Aside

For the first time since Michael Owen, Manchester United are starting a season without a player wearing the number 7 shirt. In the end it took a neat side-step from Antonio Valencia (which is funny, ‘cus he doesn’t do that anymore) to consign the shirt to Albert Morgan’s sewing box for the foreseeable future. There […]

Becks: More Than Just a Tool

Becks: More Than Just a Tool

As I’ve said before, I think most people would probably subscribe to the idea that how much you choose to invest in someone, or something, is personal to you; it’s a reflection of the morals and ethics by which you live your life. Perhaps you don’t have much time for Luis Suarez because you have […]

Smile: It Might Never Happen Again

Smile: It Might Never Happen Again

I was always going to get behind Antonio Valencia, as the prerequisite for most of my more intense player-crushes tends to be born out of empathy. Tony arrived as the underdog, coming into a team to play the role of punching bag for the fans, as their malcontent with a team recently stripped of two of it’s most […]

There was something in the heir ... Fernando

There was something in the heir … Fernando

If like me you enjoy spending a couple of minutes a week sticking Premier League footballers, or European club names, into Google Translate in an attempt to fill the void in your life created by your lack of sociability, you may have discovered that Torres means ‘Towers’ (one of my personal favourites being Otelul Galati, […]

Gary Speed 1969 - 2011

Gary Speed 1969 – 2011

It remains true that we never quite get over the sorrow caused by losing those most loved, we only learn to live with it, and to live despite it; which – and there is no paradox here – makes living a richer thing. That is sorrow’s gift, though we never covet it. A.C. Grayling (The […]

Fair to Middle Men

Fair to Middle Men

As United have apparently stumbled upon their early season lull a couple of months behind the expected schedule (or 10 months early, for those insisting we aren’t going to be having one this season), it’s only natural that collective fingers are prepared, sharpened, pointed, prodded and jabbed violently in the direction of the presumed culpable parties amongst the squad. In ‘failing’ to replace Scholesy […]

Yo! My T.V Rap

Yo! My T.V Rap

Unfortunately for the thousands upon thousands of Bifurcated  fans around the world, Bifurcated has parted company with our resident musician faux-Dion Dublin. We have cut all imagined ties with the Jazz fusion triped after he was spotted in real life moonlighting on the Beeb’s MOTD3 programme. FEAR NOT! The house band has been on a […]

A slightly disjointed thing about Robbo!

A slightly disjointed thing about Robbo!

Before players were introduced to pasta (how fancy pants!) and vitamin shakes (oh, you’re spoiling us) their diet consisted of lager and whiskey chasers and a half-time fag – so the story goes. The games were, thus, slower, as were the players (although no less entertaining) … this was of course, at least in United’s […]

Who's Bad? Why Hargreaves won't fit in at City.

Who’s Bad? Why Hargreaves won’t fit in at City.

As the mass populous of football fans, primarily United ones,  whip themselves in to a vitriolic frenzy about the potential move of Owen Hargreaves to Manchester City we at Bifurcated have decided to look at things with a bit more clarity…through the eye of mathematics. Armed with two (TWO!) sheets of graph paper, a permanent […]

Player Of The Season 2012: Anderson.

Player Of The Season 2012: Anderson.

Is it a Bird?… No, he’s just got braided hair you bigot! Is it a plane? … Well, he’s carrying a bit of extra cargo. and in some areas he’s first class (?!) … NO! It’s Anderson Luís de Abreu Oliveira. Anderson. Ando. Player of the season 2012. My hero *swoon*. I tried calling Paddy […]

The Young One...

The Young One…

Some players need a club that matches their playing ethos to reach the pinnacle of their footballing powers, but more, they need a club that matches their ambition and ego before they really flourish. A recent example of this being Eric, who although was very good at Leeds, took his individual performance level to somewhere […]

Balotelli the clown: A convenient untruth.

Balotelli the clown: A convenient untruth.

Just as I was trying to write an introduction to this post another story, this time of how Balotelli hates Manchester, has flashed up on my twitter timeline and as ever it’s accompanied by a smattering of acerbic comment, witticism, thinly veiled or overt racism, resolute defence and nonsensical guff (that’s the bit I usually […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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