EFLC: United 4 (FOUR) - 1 Burton Albion

EFLC: United 4 (FOUR) – 1 Burton Albion

Following the partitions of Poland at the end of the 18th century, Poland regained its independence in 1918 with the Treaty of Versailles. In September 1939, World War II started with the invasion of Poland by Nazi Germany, followed by the Soviet Union invading Poland in accordance with the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact. More than six million of Poland’s citizens died in the war. After World War II, the Polish People’s Republic was […]

United 4 (Four) - 0 Everton

United 4 (Four) – 0 Everton

The establishment of a Polish state can be traced back to 966, when Mieszko I, ruler of a territory roughly coextensive with that of present-day Poland, converted to Christianity. The Kingdom of Poland was founded in 1025, and in 1569 it cemented a longstanding political association with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania by signing the Union of Lublin. This union formed the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth, one […]

CL: United 3 (NOT FOUR) - 0 FC Basel

CL: United 3 (NOT FOUR) – 0 FC Basel

5 things we learned: 1. We’re lazy cunts.  

Stoke 2 - 2 United

Stoke 2 – 2 United

Really? One month after the game. This is Paul level bad. 5 things we learnzy wearnzy woo woo’d: 1. It was a bad game. 2. Not 5-0 bad obvs but still pretty bad. 3. Mane was defies a red card and anyone thinking otherwise must have also shit for brains. 4. I liked it when […]

United 2 - 0 Leicester

United 2 – 0 Leicester

This game was so long ago that no-one cares. Here’s 5 things to not care about: 1. We were only half as good as the last game. 2. But still eighteen-thirds better than Arsenal. 3. Even Arsenal are eighteen-thirds better than Arsenal. 4. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was good I liked it when there […]

Swansea 0 - 4 (Four) United

Swansea 0 – 4 (Four) United

With Brett (the maverick one of us) in Poland you would think us two clowns (Tom and Benno) would do this review, but we are massive blends. FOURchester United more like! Here’s FOUR things we learned in honFOUR of FOUR FOURmidable team: 1. I’m not sure how to handle all these goals. 2. It just […]

United 4 (Four) - 0 West Ham

United 4 (Four) – 0 West Ham

We haven’t won the English Premier League on the first day of the season since that great day back in 1966! All the squad can now look forward to taking a well deserved tour of all them countries who haven’t bought enough shirts and that, until next August. Here’s 5 things we learnt/ed: 1. Winning […]

EL Final: Ajax 0 - 2 United

EL Final: Ajax 0 – 2 United

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUSSSS… WE’RE GONNA WIN THE europa LEAGUE cup!! Here’s 5 things we learned on this historic night for Wayne Rooney: 1. Seems we are now in a Champions League? Also seems Arsenal aren’t. So. Many. Lols. 2. Herrera […]

United 2 - 0 Palace

United 2 – 0 Palace

Who cares?! Here’s five thing we learned, but didn’t really care to learn: 1. Labyrinth is on. 2. She’s proper hamming it up. 3. I hope Fitz and Simmons stay together when they get out the matrix. 4. Omg have you not seen the season finale yet? 5. No spoilers yo !! 6. Shit. Already […]

Southampton 0 - 0 United

Southampton 0 – 0 United

We asked Jose Mourinho to comment on the last 6 years of Bifurcated, and he had this to say: The intensity is there. Which is just what I ask for. I could not ask for more.  Here’s 5 things we learned when the football interrupted our 90 minutes of doing other things to ease the […]

Totspurs 2 - 1 United

Totspurs 2 – 1 United

Did you ever hear the best-selling, blockbuster movie story about the basket of all the disappointment that we sucked on after Wednesday 24th May 2017? No. Well, we’ve copyrighted it. And our lawyers are completing their online lawyer course. So, bite our bangers. Here’s 5 things we learndured: 1. Rooney still has a lot to […]

EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 - 1 (1) Celta Vigo

EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 – 1 (1) Celta Vigo

Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...