We haven’t won the English Premier League on the first day of the season since that great day back in 1966!
All the squad can now look forward to taking a well deserved tour of all them countries who haven’t bought enough shirts and that, until next August.
Here’s 5 things we learnt/ed:
1. Winning is good.
2. That’s all I’ve got.
3. Fella next to me in the pub, thought it was a great a joke to pretend to his m8, who was sending him text updates, that he wasn’t watching the match. Note to self: kill all people in pub.
4. You know some great people.
5. “Ooh I drink in a pub with real people”. Pathetic.
6. I thought that whilst it would be nonsensical to talk about the ‘bigger picture’ this early in the season, our overall level of performance – both individually and as a team – can only make one optimistic. Not ‘Tritanic: This time it’s in space’ optimistic but relatively confident nevertheless.
7. I liked the goals we did.
8. Why don’t you like them anymore?
9. Fella came on as a substitute. Please delete all points after number 2. And everything you clowns have ever written.
Glad you guys are back. I’ve spent the summer making weirdly homoerotic videos with my brother.