West Ham 1 – 1 United

Give us this day our Danny Blind and forgive us our long passes, as we were playing them that long pass against us. And lead us not into tenth place please; with deliveries from Tony. Four-Five-One is the kingdom. And the power, and the glory, for Ander Herrera. Amen.

Capper Roondog has come under a lot of criticism recently from the United fateful. Whereas others find it easy to defend him: Coulson and Nelson from Cambridge and Morgan and Wasilewski from Leicester being the most recent examples. idgi. The truth is we’re not playing to RooRoo’s  strengths: he needs wider and taller players around him, so there’s more surface area to hit with his creativity. He needs more support and vision in and around him for those incredibly shortest of short maverick no luck passes he drops off in situations where lesser beings would simply control the ball. And also we’re playing him out of position: he’s no midfielder. He really needs to be in behind our front two – Giggsy and Vangle. SONIC BOOM!! isdgi.

Doc from Back to the Future in a wig is struggling to impress in his role as world footballing superstar Radamel Falcao; who was tragically kidnapped by a dolphin consortium in 2014. Valencia is wrestling with universal truths: I think therefore I’m spam. And Vangle still has great hair.

It’s like the saying goes: Form is dependant on the team formation and tactics suiting the player’s strengths, an individual’s specific adaptability to the opposition and their particular formation and tactics, any ongoing contract negotiations or transfer speculation, competition for places, the form of team mates and opponents, changes in home life, relationships, love, the lunar cycle, diet, compulsions, abstentions, whether the player is getting a good nights sleep etc..  Class is a subjective measure of a player’s ability, and somewhat dependant on the evolving standard of their contemporaries.

Onwards, and upwards, or downwards. Whichever suits.

Thought for the day: As his legs to torso ratio increases week on week, it’s important to ask: Is Van Persie disappearing into his own legs?

 

 

 

Note to self: find out when lesser beings were allowed to join in. I know they were talking on Radio 4 about letting them get married…

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