Where to start?
Here will do … let’s get some stuff said: I’ve skipped second-base with Fellaini and am already at third – he might be the answer y’know. Him and Carrick in midfield, P-A-S-S-I-N-G. Chris Smalling looked on it, and some, at right back – which was possibly a knock on effect of the slight return of Tony. Maybe Albert can find some tippex and put a ‘+’ between his ‘2’ and ‘5’ if he gets back proper. And Ashley Young responded excellently to the weekend’s criticism, by doing his best impression of a very good player, when he came on. All the goals were good*, which is good. *Rooney’s volley was technically yuck.
So where to start with the Rooney stuff?
. . Here looks good. ‘Listen’, Rooney is ‘obviously’ not happy at United ‘obviously’. He doesn’t talk about us using ‘us’ or ‘we’ anymore. The disconnect is palpable, not only off the pitch, but on it. It was telling that after scoring his second goal – which was very good and typified his performance, which showed real signs of improvement – he reeled away and subconsciously celebrated in the style of RVP. Applying my best refrigerator magnet psychology: he’s well jel of Van Persie and has the image of him celebrating goal after goal, scorched on his retinas. That damned Dutch dreamboat: the audacity of him to have his own hair and everything. He could have passed to Van Persie when one on one, he didn’t. He would have passed to anyone else. Let’s hope Patrice’s attempts to kill him with kindness can at the very least have him pulling in the same direction, till we can get rid. The worst thing in all this is the impact on Danny’s development
A quesion that will be asked for years to come: do you remember where you were you the night Robin van Persie got booked for having an arse thrown at him, with a man still attached?