Smalling

Boe Two: Smalling

Boe Two: Smalling

Chelsea 4 - 0 United

Chelsea 4 – 0 United

Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea! Blah blah blah Mourinho at United! Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea? Blah blah blah Mourinho at United? I wish I could read more about this, but my eyes are full of all the interesting opinions and statistics. Like he said himself, he’s ‘not 99% United and 1% Chelsea’. […]

FAC: Everton vs. United

FAC: Everton vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you […]

FAC: Shrewsbury 0 – 3 United

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

  Benno (@Benglorious) Playing a game in the Championship League of Europe is always good. Playing in all the games in the Championship League of Europe is even gooder, especially if you win the last one. That’s when you get a nice trophy and all the other teams have to bow when they see you and […]

CL: United 2 – 1 VFL Wolfsburg

Pensmith John Murder did what he did best by smithing a pen to bring us back into it. And then Chris Smallholding did what he does worst in ‘terrorising’ the Wolvesburg defence and grabbing the golden goal to lift the Europe Championship. For now. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1) Roondog is getting really good […]

Swansea vs United

Swansea vs United

  Benno (@Benglorious) It’s been a strange week at Bifurcated Towers.  Lots have questions have been raised after we’ve had to deal with the fallout from that tweet from the last game in Preston: Is there a Quality Street in Wales?  Is there any way to find out?  Why do radiators and sinks need earthing?  If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, […]

United 3 - 1 Burnley

United 3 – 1 Burnley

If the Universe was truly balanced then RVN would jump up behind Martin Keown like an evil clown on acid every time he opened his mouth. Next time he’s on Match of the Day, I’ll be putting my foot through the telly and sending Gary Crisps the etc… This match played out like the Hallmark […]

Smalling

Smalling

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

Benno (@Benglorious) It’s all excitement and joy today in Bifurcated Towers as myself and Tom (the guy with the preview below mine that you always skip over to get to Brett’s little piece of insanity) are actually visiting the Theatre of Dreams in actual real life and stuff.  Apparently, the previews we write are for […]

United 3 - 0 Hull

United 3 – 0 Hull

Why are you even here? Didn’t you watch the game? Or at the very least the highlights? People.

Manchester 1 - 0 Manchester

Manchester 1 – 0 Manchester

We at Bifurcated have taken it upon ourselves to create a comprehensive video diary review of this historic Chris Smalling. Click below to view…

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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