United vs. Bournemouth
(@Benglorious) There’s nothing better than a top of the table six-pointer the day before New Year’s Eve. Except for smart water. That shit is tight. Prediction: Goals for all the players who pooped in Jose’s kettle at the Lowry. 11-0 United. M (@tom_mcghee) I am out of the office until Jan 4th. Please […]
UCL: Valencia 2 – 1 United
Did you really expect any of us to watch this game? I mean seriously??!! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Someone should just disband Manchester United. Release the players back into the wild. 2. Not Phil Jones. At this point the most humane thing is a mercy killing 3. I liked it when Pogba missed […]
UCL: Valencia vs. United
(@Benglorious) YEE-HAW HEAD ‘EM UP RIDE ‘EM OUT etc Prediction: Rubber to not have been invented yet. Hat-trick for Pogba plus a brace for Lukaku. 0-0 Valencia M (@tom_mcghee) Why is it a dead rubber?* We don’t call a game that counts a live rubber. Rubber discrimination? Not for me to say but obviously yes. […]
UCL: United 0 – 0 Valencia
Re-building Fortress OT one brick at a time. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. 0 2. 0
United 2 – 0 Southampton
“Remember when we won the league after two games. That was today.” Says it all. ‘Says it all’, although integral to the point, and acting somewhat as a qualifier/modifier (delete whichever is somewhere near closest to the appropriate rhetorical device) to the point being made, doesn’t count as an extra sentence, the top sentence stands […]
United 1 – 0 Everton
A talismanic frenchman scoring in a cagey 1-0 win at the business end of the season would never have happened in Fergie’s era. Call me crazee, but I’m starting to think that maybe this Vangle character should be handed his P45 innit. Martial, Rashford and Fosu-Mensah put the disappointment of being to young to feel […]
City vs. United
Benno (@Benglorious) Writing your preview second usually means something has gone very, horribly wrong with the time/space continuum. That, or those pricks are just trying to show you up. Or you’re on holiday with very little free time to write what with all the sunbathing and drinking. The time/space continuum is probably the right answer. We’ll […]
Swansea vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) It’s been a strange week at Bifurcated Towers. Lots have questions have been raised after we’ve had to deal with the fallout from that tweet from the last game in Preston: Is there a Quality Street in Wales? Is there any way to find out? Why do radiators and sinks need earthing? If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, […]
Tomfurcated UniBen’s Minute-Bi-Minute Real-Time Matchday Adventure: Crystal Palace
Looks like none of us can do it. Promises to be the best one yet. Today’s Match Pack: UNITED vs PALLIS 2mins: Dave’s kept us in it there. 4mins: Great tackle by Chris Smalling. 12 mins: Someone’s going to get on the end of one those Valencia crosses any year soon. 16 mins: Dave’s […]