Chelsea

Paul's House Puppets: David Luiz

Paul’s House Puppets: David Luiz

Paul's House Puppets: Diego Costa

Paul’s House Puppets: Diego Costa

Paul's House Puppet: Conte

Paul’s House Puppet: Conte

Chelsea 1 - 1 United

Chelsea 1 – 1 United

After promising to do a win, with some promising doings, Vangle’s boychilds allowed a sexy baddy with a pair of dirty knickers on his face grab a late equalizerer. Even though we’re writing this after the Sunderland game, and the 1 Euro League, we’re looking forward to taking this promisingness into the next two games […]

United 0 - 0 Chelsea

United 0 – 0 Chelsea

David Moyes must be turning in his shallow grave. At least that would explain why the top soil is moving. Which one of us decided burying him alive was the best idea? How was I to know his skin was fire-retardant? Thank god I had the genius idea to remove his teeth. And that £2.80 […]

United vs Chelsea

United vs Chelsea

     Benno (@Benglorious) All those 0-0 predictions I’ve made this season were just a little joke. Except nobody’s laughing anymore. A 0-0 today would be like that one-minute-to-midnight-phonecall-from-the-Governor-to-the-Warden-who-is-stood-by-the-phone-in-the-execution-chamber-but-as-a-metaphor-for-Vangle’s-job-security-not-his-actual-life-hanging-in-the-balance-I-don’t-know-when-to-stop-with-the-hyphens-I’m-gonna-risk-it-with-a-full-stop. Imagine needing a landline as a lifeline lol. I’ve forgotten my point. Prediction: Vangle to STOKE the fires that have long lain dormant in this United side. […]

Footballiversity #11 – September 2015

Multiversity was a DC comics series written by Grant Morrison. Every month saw a story loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic book. Footballiversity and the various numbered Footballiverses are a shameless rip-off of the comics device (found elsewhere too, of course) of using parallel universes when you have nothing else to write about, and […]

Footballiversity #6

Multiversity is an ongoing DC comics series written by Grant Morrison. Every month sees a story in a different version of the DC universe (eg kids of the well-known heroes who have nothing to do because their parents created a utopia where the bad guys can never win) loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic […]

Chelsea 1 - 0 United

Chelsea 1 – 0 United

I know it’s hard to imagine us without the jokes, but anyway … I had to leave my local during Sunday’s match cos of the racist chanting at the players on the telly. I made a pathetic attempt to say something, but I was alone and so basically bottled it, drank up, and just left. […]

Sherwood Takes Charge

Tim Sherwood walked into the dressing room. Louis van Gaal’s reign had been a disaster, with United failing to make the Champions League, or even the Europa League. There had been an outcry among the papers, and, in their infinite wisdom, Ed Woodward and the Glazer family had decided a domestic manager was the best option. Sherwood’s run […]

Footballiversity #4

Multiversity is an ongoing DC comics series written by Grant Morrison. Every month sees a story in a different version of the DC universe (eg kids of the well-known heroes who have nothing to do because their parents created a utopia where the bad guys can never win) loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic […]

Swansea 2 – 1 United

I read* an interesting** article*** yesterday: according to the statters, that’s the first time Swansea have beaten us since the last time we played them; stretching back as far as that was. And I was talking**** to some***** Swansea fans, and they told me Garry Monk was prroud of the rresult, cos he had a […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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