FA Cup

FA Cup 4th Round: United vs. Wigan

FA Cup 4th Round: United vs. Wigan

   (@Benglorious) Hopefully we can shake off the last two cup defeats suffered by Liverpool, which ended all their hopes of silverware this season, and stick it right up Wigan. I just get the strange feeling that Liverpool’s current plight may raise the spirits at Old Trafford, even amongst the fans. m Prediction: Martial to […]

FAC: United 4 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 4 – 0 Reading

In years from now you’ll be able to tell your grandkids, “I was there!!” A goalscoring feat that we’ll be talking about for generations to come. Cementing one of United’s GOAT’s Hammerlegend status. One of those goalden moments… January 7th, 2017: Marcus Rashford with YET ANOTHER one-yard smash. Nothing else of note happened.   Here’s […]

FAC: United vs. Reading

FAC: United vs. Reading

 (@Benglorious) AND LEEDS m festival m Prediction: Benno to outsmart those chumps who thought they’d taken all the reading jokes. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee) Manchester United Vs Reading is the very last thing we should be encouraging; reading is essential to humanity’s education and future – for us to just attack the concept is both […]

Season Review Innit

Season Review Innit

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace 1 - 2 United (a.e.t)

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace 1 – 2 United (a.e.t)

Winning cups >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Not winning cups. Here’s the final final five things us learned this season: 1. Hearing rumours Mourinho might be new Manager. 2. Pardew has stolen Ross and Monica’s Dad’s moves. 3. I liked it when Jesse scored the goal that won us the cup. It was like the opposite thing that happened […]

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

FA Cup Final: Crystal Palace vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]

FAC: Everton 1 - 2 United

FAC: Everton 1 – 2 United

That was fun. That game had everything. Apart from everything that it didn’t. Give Dave and Tony M everyone elses’ wages. Apart from all the people who have nothing to do with this professional football club. Lol @ professional.       Five things we learned: 1. I liked it when Rooney ran into the […]

FAC: Everton vs. United

FAC: Everton vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you […]

FAC: West Ham 1 – 2 United

Brett’s too busy crying over being stood up for the eightieth time in six days to write this review. Or he’s too busy with work, I forget what he said now.  West Ham were the opponents for this cup game and I bet they wished they’d spent more money on players rather than wasting it […]

FAC: West Ham vs. United

FAC: West Ham vs. United

   Benno (@Benglorious) Another Wednesday night, another replay. Not the good kind of replay like seeing Carlos Alberto’s goal in the 1970 World Cup final again, or getting a free ball on the pinball, or that episode of Murder, She Wrote that had the headless horseman in it, or when United played West Ham again after a tepid […]

FAC: United 1 - 1 West Ham

FAC: United 1 – 1 West Ham

The plucky minnows from Londons almost pulled off a giant killing of Goliath times Andre the Giant times Giant Haystacks times Jolly Green Giant proportions. However, a Martial worldy cancelled out a 25-yard hit and hope from some bloke who’s name is based on our glorious Captain Wayne Rooney’s fave question. At least for us […]

FAC: Shrewsbury 0 – 3 United

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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