Who’s Bad? Why Hargreaves won’t fit in at City.

As the mass populous of football fans, primarily United ones,  whip themselves in to a vitriolic frenzy about the potential move of Owen Hargreaves to Manchester City we at Bifurcated have decided to look at things with a bit more clarity…through the eye of mathematics.

Armed with two (TWO!) sheets of graph paper, a permanent marker (Yes I said permanent. This study will be a PERMANENT record. You can not erase it.) and our wits we embarked on a 2 minute study of the main Man City lot.

The results are bewilderingly astounding and prove conclusively, beyond a shadow of a doubt, with absolutely no need for recourse, that Owen Hargreaves just doesn’t and will not fit in.

See for yourself. We have included the results of the study below for your perusal…

Part 1: As you can see the main body of the squad are 'Baddies'.

Part 2: As City continue to be 'Baddies', Hargreaves quite clearly is shown to be a goody.

The conclusion from the results we drew was that despite the fact that the move is really, really unfair *best said fighting back tears and stamping both feet on the ground, whilst adding “I’m not crying, you’re crying”*, in being a goody Hargreaves is mathematically predisposed to fail if he moves there. Throughout football history we have examples of ‘goodies’ moving to ‘baddies’ teams and it not working out. Look it up if you like.

We have no need to concern ourselves with this whatsoever. We can quite happily return to putting our fingers in our ears and humming while City harp on about this and other nonsense.