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United vs. Everton

United vs. Everton

 @Benglorious) Do you remember when we had Rooney and it was good? Do you also remember when we had Rooney and it was bad? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time? Remember the Titans? These are all things that can be remembered. As will Rooney’s winning goal […]

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

 @Benglorious) City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.   Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) ‘You […]

Swansea vs. United

Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) It’s so much easier to write a decent preview after we’ve won the previous game.   Prediction: Lukaku to continue his development by kissing his sister and then hitting the winner into the exhaust port. 3-1, United  m  (@tom_mcghee) Cannot do words today. I am a conscientious objector over Swansea’s role in Vietnam. Damn them, damn […]

United vs. West Ham

United vs. West Ham

 @Benglorious) It feels like more months than I can count (three, I think) since Chelsea lifted the Premiership League trophy after a hard-fought battle with Tottenham who really, literally, actually, definitely didn’t bottle it, and, in fact, put so much pressure on, the FA considered creating a new trophy just for them before rejecting it […]

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

 @Benglorious) *waits to see what tone the other two are going for with their previews* *wanks whilst waiting*       Prediction: United to throw the kitchen sink at Ajax, who send it back glistening because detergent lol. Debut goals for both Marcus and Rashford. 0-0 United.  m  (@tom_mcghee) I’ve got nothing. I lack the […]

United vs. Palace

United vs. Palace

m (@Benglorious) Finally we have come to the final game of the season. No more football after this final game for a whole four years. Or two if you count the Euros. I don’t know about you, but I’m actually looking forward to extra helpings of politics once the football is done. Long live the Queen. […]

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

    (@Benglorious) Tonight is make or break, do or die, dog eat dog, boy meets world, girl on girl, north by northwest for United. The Europa League is our last shot at being big time Charlies this season, but there’s always the chance we will massively balls it up. Well, not even massively knowing […]

Arsenal vs. United

Arsenal vs. United

m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. […]

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

m m (@Benglorious) Celta Vigo are not a team United should be taking lightly this evening. After all, this IS the business end of the elite Europa competition-that-isn’t-for-the-best-clubs-in-Europe-but-still-gives-us-annoying-midweek-games-that-make-us-draw-all-our-important-matches-but-at least-if-we-do-win-the-whole-thing-it-does-mean-that-we’re-better-than-Liverpool League. Prediction: Another debut goal for Rashford and yet another hat-trick for Ronaldo as the Reds cruise to an easy victory. 0-0 United m m  (@tom_mcghee) […]

United vs. Swansea

United vs. Swansea

(@Benglorious) After basking in the glow of Sunderland getting deservedly relegated, I considered calling Ol’ Davey Moyes to offer my sympathies. However, I then remembered what an odious prick and terrible manager he is so I went for a poo instead. I also didn’t have his number. m Prediction:  Swansea to knockout Klitschko in the […]

Terence Trent Derby Day

Terence Trent Derby Day

(@Benglorious) With every player except Rashford out injured, this game should be a fucking doddle. m Prediction: JoMo to take PeeGee to coaching school, which is actually just called a school because synonymomical tautology innit, and we all know what a great player he was. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) Pep. Unsure this qualified as a […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

(@Benglorious) m The last time we played Burnley we had more shots than World War II but couldn’t find the net. I think that makes us Italy in this metaphor, but without the changing teams halfway through because we were losing. m Prediction: Rashford to continue his rise to glory by scoring for the third successive […]

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