Stoke 2 - 2 United

Stoke 2 – 2 United

Really? One month after the game. This is Paul level bad. 5 things we learnzy wearnzy woo woo’d: 1. It was a bad game. 2. Not 5-0 bad obvs but still pretty bad. 3. Mane was defies a red card and anyone thinking otherwise must have also shit for brains. 4. I liked it when […]

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

 @Benglorious) City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.   Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) ‘You […]

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

   (@Benglorious) Stoke means to add coal or other solid fuel to (a fire, furnace, boiler, etc.), to encourage or incite (a strong emotion or tendency), and also to consume a large quantity of food or drink to give one energy. One of these is where the football team we are playing today gets their […]

United 1 - 1 Stoke

United 1 – 1 Stoke

24 shots and one score. Not sure why people are disappointed. Sounds like a great party. Agent Hobo Chicken Fingerer Welsh Pirlo gave our boys one hell of a gingham pressing today. And as Sparky Marky Mark Hughesy Hughes said, it was totally utterly and thoroughly deserved. So it must be true. Cos he’s as […]

United 3 – 0 Stoke

With heavy heart we bid a fond farewell and wave a tear-stained hanky to the goalless first half feats of yesteryear. Hoping this is merely a blip tbh. Jesse-dawg, Martial-dawg, and Roon-dawg proved themselves to be the swashbuckliest of swasherers, with net-bulging scorings that could shiver the timbers of the mightiest haunted pirate tree on […]

United vs. Stoke

United vs. Stoke

 Benno (@Benglorious) Stoke-on-Trent is a unique city affectionately known as The Potteries. With its rich industrial heritage and history, Stoke-on-Trent has respectfully claimed the title of World Capital of Ceramics ( find out from whom and in which competition when/if bothered).  The City boasts many visitor centres, award winning museums, authentic factory tours (authentic factories or tours?!?!), […]

Stoke 2 - 0 United

Stoke 2 – 0 United

Us can’t even remember if this was 2-1 or 2-0 tbh. Luckily no one keeps score. That Arnautsausage goal was a banger. That’s funny cos his name is sausage and banger is a sausage in Stoketown. It stayed hit. And is now orbiting John Lewis. John Lewis wasn’t available for comment, cos he’s filming the […]

United vs Chelsea

United vs Chelsea

     Benno (@Benglorious) All those 0-0 predictions I’ve made this season were just a little joke. Except nobody’s laughing anymore. A 0-0 today would be like that one-minute-to-midnight-phonecall-from-the-Governor-to-the-Warden-who-is-stood-by-the-phone-in-the-execution-chamber-but-as-a-metaphor-for-Vangle’s-job-security-not-his-actual-life-hanging-in-the-balance-I-don’t-know-when-to-stop-with-the-hyphens-I’m-gonna-risk-it-with-a-full-stop. Imagine needing a landline as a lifeline lol. I’ve forgotten my point. Prediction: Vangle to STOKE the fires that have long lain dormant in this United side. […]

Stoke vs United

Stoke vs United

   Benno (@Benglorious) It’s Christmas. Can’t believe our ruddy brave heroic footballers are actually playing football instead of watching Simpsons repeats or pretending to love their families. Prediction: Vangle to slam those h8trz with goals and points. Three of each is exactly what Dr Nick ordered. Hi, everybody! 0-0 United.     Tom (@tom_mcghee) SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS […]

Stoke 1- 1 United

*Iwas at ‘spoons having me Christmas with me Mum and Dad. Ask someone else…

Stoke vs United

Benno (@Benglorious) “Happy New Year” is me telling you all (Ha! “You all”) a massive lie because it’s still 2014 as I write this.  In my head it’s still 1994 but that’s my problem, not yours.  If it WAS still 1994 we wouldn’t be playing Stoke because I don’t remember them playing back then, ergo: […]

United 2 - 1 Stoke

United 2 – 1 Stoke

Two “goals” for United. Scored by “players”. One “assisted” by a “team-mate”. One the result of a “set-piece” or “set-play”. Disputable “scorer” of the other “goal”. Because hair. No the other “goal”. The other “goal”. Not that “goal”. Was “headed” into the net. Course it was “headed” into the net. Where else was a “goal” […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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