mufc

(@Benglorious) If Anderlecht play anything like Chelsea then we should beat them comfortably unless United play like Chelsea because that would result in a draw unless Anderlecht play like United which would also finish as a draw. Maths is hard. m Prediction: United to come out all guns blazing. Anderlecht to refuse to come out because […]

(@Benglorious) Anyone who’s ever played ‘Famous Belgians’ knows Ander Lecht, inventor of waffles and Tintin. Should be an absolute pushover. m Prediction: Goals for Poirot and Jean-Claude Van Damme will not be enough for the plucky Belgians. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) I ruddy love Anderlecht. I’d open a coffeshop there in a heartbeat if […]

(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be […]

(@Benglorious) I’m sure we played yesterday, if you can call it playing lol. Yeah, Brett, I stole your joke – that’s how bad things are. m Prediction: Goals for Lukaku and Big Dunc. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) David Moyes sure does it bad. m Aliens (1986) James Cameron recreates Avatar (2009) shot-for-shot but before that and with […]

(@Benglorious) It’s been so long since I watched any football that wasn’t full of broken legs and weird statues that I’m actually looking forward to watching the game today. Any spare tickets? I also need a lift and accommodation. And spending money. www.patreon.com/bifurcated m m Prediction: With Jones out, injured by Smalling, and Smalling out, […]

(@Benglorious) Last time we played Chelsea we did something, but that was in the league. This is the real test – the FA Cup. Our last meeting with Chelsea in this competition resulted in something. As the current holders, United need to prove they’re better than Chelsea by channelling the cup spirit of Lincoln and […]

(@Benglorious) I have no fucking idea who Rostov are. I do, however, know what a rosti is – a sat on bag of chips that Tories like to eat. Prediction: Elbohimovic. You can have that one. Unless it can be monetised. Actually, it’d be easier to just send me cash and avoid all the fuss. […]

(@Benglorious) Spent so much time making the dankest of memes that I can’t do a preview. What a time to be alive. m Luke Shaw match stats: Interceptions – 6 Tackles – 14 Headed clearances – 3 Take-ons – 11 Dribbles – 29 Pass completion – 97% Assists – 2 Goals – 2 Next game […]

(@Benglorious) Blackburn Rovers gained their unique name in 1911, when, due to all eligible men of footballing age having been called up to fight in the Great War, they had to field an XI comprised entirely of local dogs in their cup tie against Accrington Stanley, who himself had to use a lieu day from […]

(@Benglorious) I really like the Europa League. Mostly because we’ve got zero chance of shipping five goals to Bayern Munich. Saint Etienne are the opponents at Old Trafford tonight, and boy do we have some history with them. Google it. Anyway, in lieu of a shite joke about a 90’s indie dance trio, here’s some […]

(@Benglorious) Coming off the back of our complete demolition of the completely unpredictable champions, Leicester, United have every right to be completely confident about beating Watford today. I mean, it’s not like they’ve ever beaten us, this season, at Vicarage Road, possibly on the 18th of September 2016. It was a Sunday. Three goals to […]